


Daddy Issues

by motteme



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Choking, Fluff and Smut, Jiyong has a kid, Kinky, M/M, a lot of fluff, and is weak for Seunghyun's dimples as usual, and some hot stuff too, kindergarten teacher Seunghyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 03:37:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16442270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/motteme/pseuds/motteme
Summary: Jiyong doesn't care about love, he only cares about his five year old son Jihoon and that's for the best.- and no, that annoyingly handsome kindergarten teacher Mr.Choi will definitely not change anything about that.Ever.





	Daddy Issues

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Diamante_Narcissa_Uchiha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diamante_Narcissa_Uchiha/gifts).



> Happy Birthday to Dia! I really hope you like this one!
> 
> I swore myself that I would never write something as long as this in a matter of a couple of days, but here we are.  
> Nearly 60 pages and roughly 31k words but I managed it on time.
> 
> If there are any mistakes, I am sorry - hadn't had the time to correct it, yet, but I will proof read it once I have some more time on my hands. Have fun reading this monster!

“Daddy, we are going to be late!”

Jiyong inwardly cursed as he quickly reached for the lunchbox he had prepared for his son the day before. He tossed it into the small backpack and ran into the hallway where Jihoon was already waiting for him, looking up at him with his big, round eyes.

“I know, munchkin, but I promise it will be alright.” He kneeled down at the tiny feet of his son, picking up each foot carefully from the ground as he guided them into his shoes. Small hands grabbed his shoulders as he tied them – not too lose and not to tight either, another loop. Done.

“Come on, grab my hand and let’s go.” – Jiyong grabbed his keys, both bags and was ready to bolt out of his house when he felt someone tug at the side of his pants. He looked down, only to see Jihoon looking up at him with big eyes, lower lip jutted out and pouting at him.

Jiyong knew that look all too well – whenever there was something Jihoon wanted, be it ice cream, a new toy he saw somewhere or a piggyback ride – he would use exactly that look. It was incredibly unfair how his son could be this adorably cute and get away with it and more importantly, get his way. More often than not Jiyong gave into that cute puppy face and even though he knew he really shouldn’t, he was weak for that face – and Jihoon knew that all too well.

“Can you carry me?”

A fond smile spread across his face and he ruffled his son’s hair affectionately, before he kneeled down again, to pick him up and walk out of the door – his son’s happy laughter filling the air.

 

 

The car ride to Jihoon’s kindergarten turned out to be longer than Jiyong had anticipated – normally Dami, bless her soul, was the one who dropped Jihoon off in the morning and picked him up again after she was done with work around five. For most it would probably be a living hell to be living with their sister in their late twenties, but Jiyong was forever grateful for her. Ever since they were little kids they had gotten along very well – sure, every now and then they would fight, what kind of siblings don’t? But in the end, they were close and had their backs no matter what.

Jiyong got proven of her loyalty when all of a sudden, his – now ex – girlfriend had declared that she was pregnant. It had been a shock to say the least. He was only twenty-four back then and had just finished law school – he had always planned on having kids, but not until he had a decent job at a law firm and was a bit older. But sometimes life just didn’t go the way you had it all planned out to be – sometimes your girlfriend who you had only dated for a short period of time ended up getting pregnant. Sometimes said girlfriend would end up being completely different than how you first saw her and would simply get up and leave him behind once the baby was born.

Jiyong still felt bitter about the whole thing – who could blame him? Yunhee had been the first girl he had really fallen in love with and deep down he had wished to settle down with her someday. Sure, they had only been together for a couple of months before she got pregnant, but that didn’t mean Jiyong didn’t fall head over heels for her. Looking back, Jiyong really didn’t know what he had seen in her in the end. She had accused him of ruining her live with getting her pregnant, she had screamed at him and even slapped him across the face when he got closer to her, trying to calm her down, but nothing worked. In the end, she somehow managed to calm down on her own – she was still majorly pissed at him, but at least she didn’t hit him anymore.

The months had gone by so quick and slow at the same time – quick, because it felt like such a short time until he had Jihoon in his arms for the first time, innocent eyes filled with so much love and affection that it made Jiyong swoon – and slow, because as the pregnancy went on, Yunhee started to show her ugly side.

Jiyong had never thought that he would ever end up in an abusive relationship like that, but an ashtray flying at his face and a few other incidents showed him, that it could happen more easily to you than you would think. He knew that – technically – he would have had no problem with holding her down and stopping the abuse, but he simply _couldn’t_. No matter how harsh her words were or how much it hurt when she would hit him, he never dared to raise a hand at her.

He was raised better than that, better than hitting women, better than hitting _pregnant_ women, even if it meant that it would cause him pain – he had endured it. Those had been the worst nine months of his life, but all the hurt, the pain, everything, washed away when he held little Jihoon in his arms. It was like falling in love – not in a romantic way, god forbid _no_ , but in a way, he had never felt before. It was a mixture of love, affection and the intense need to _protect_. To be there for this little bundle, to care for him and to be ready to do anything in his power to make him happy.

It tore his heart into a million pieces when Yunhee simply left.

Not because she broke up with him – he was more than happy that she was finally leaving him alone – but because she could walk away from their son. Just like that. No tears, not even guilt was being reflected in her eyes or any sign of remorse. Nothing. It was quite the contrary. When they asked her to hold her son she simply looked at him coldly – no motherly affection, no need to hold him close.

It was like a stab into the heart.

It hurt even more when she signed the papers, giving up any form of custody she had over her child. Jiyong simply couldn’t believe it. How could someone just leave behind such a cute kid? Didn’t she feel any connection with Jihoon? After carrying him inside her body for nine months?  
Apparently not, because not even a couple of days after Jihoon was born, Yunhee was gone.

Looking back now, Jiyong was grateful that she left. He didn’t want to have someone as abusive as Yunhee around his child, even if she was his mother. Period. He had sworn to protect Jihoon from everything bad when he was born, and he meant it – he would even go so far to stay alone forever if that meant that he would be able to protect Jihoon from getting hurt like that.

Dami had been the one who was there for him during that hard time. Without batting an eyelash, she took Jiyong in – moved all his stuff into her new house and made sure little Jihoon had a room for himself too. Originally, she had planned to transform one of the two rooms into her office and the other one into a walk-in closet but seeing how badly her little baby brother was struggling, she couldn’t just let him live on his own. The first few months had been complete chaos – with Dami working full time she rarely had time to spend with her nephew or little brother during the day, meaning Jiyong was the one who stayed at home, looking after his baby. As much as Jiyong was loving the fact that he was a dad, he more often than not had to call their mother for help – she had been disappointed with him when she first heard that Yunhee had gotten pregnant, but as soon as she had seen her son with that little bundle in his arm – kitchen and living room a complete mess – she had given in and helped Jiyong as much as she could. She taught him how to properly change diapers, how to make healthy dishes suited for a baby and was there for him when little Jihoon got sick for the first time. (That night had involved Jiyong crying nearly as bad as Jihoon and a few near mental breakdowns from the young father when Jihoon just wouldn’t stop crying in pain).

Things started to get better when Jihoon was finally old enough to go to kindergarten – sure, the first day was filled tears and a temper tantrum, but once he got used to it and realised that most of the other kids were actually really nice, he couldn’t wait to go there again. It also helped that he seemed to really like his kindergarten teachers.

Around that time Jiyong started to work full time again too at a law firm – since he had to leave before Dami most of the time, he was in charge of preparing lunch for his son and pack his backpack for the next day, most of the time he even laid out which clothes Jihoon should wear the next day.

It worked pretty well like that.

Just not today.

Dami had gotten sick and had been battling a nasty cold all weekend long and still had a high temperature, causing her not being able to go to work and furthermore drop Jihoon off. Normally, their mother would be the one to take care of little Jihoon during those days, but she was currently in rehab for six weeks straight, since her backpain and other aches and pains that occurred when you got older had been getting a bit worse lately – which left Jiyong in charge of everything. Jiyong had to wake up Jihoon – like he normally did – but now he had to prepare breakfast, brush his teeth, dress him and drop him off at kindergarten, too. During his lunch break he would have to do the grocery shopping, drop said groceries off at home and drive back to work. Then he would have to leave at least half an hour before five if he didn’t want to be late to pick up Jihoon again and get them home.

This morning had already started off wrong when he overslept his alarm, waking up a full hour later than normally, and had to wake Jihoon up a bit rougher than usually. Jiyong didn’t know how, but he somehow managed to feed Jihoon, dress him and brush his teeth, while getting dressed himself and brushed his teeth under the span of fifteen minutes. He was almost hopeful that he would at least make it to the kindergarten on time.

Almost.

To Jiyong’s horror he got caught in the worst traffic jam he had ever experienced in his life and forty teeth pulling minutes later, he finally parked the car near the kindergarten. Jiyong quickly grabbed the tiny bag and Jihoon, carrying him at the side of his hip and jogged down the street. He was out of breath and just a tiny bit sweaty when he finally walked through the front gates and sat little Jihoon down at one of the tiny tables that where right at the entrance.

“I hope you have a great day, munchkin.” – he ruffled through Jihoon’s messy mob of hair and kissed his head, who in returned whined a very annoyed “dad”. Jiyong simply chuckled as he kneeled before him, running his fingers through his son’s hair one more time, before getting up again.

“Aunty Hyorin will pick you and Mina up again today around half past five and bring you to my office, we can go grab some ice cream on our way home afterwards – how does that sound?”

“ICE CREAM!”, Jihoon immediately jumped forward and hugged his father. Mina was Hyorin’s daughter, who happened to be around the same age as Jihoon. Jiyong had met her a few years ago when he went shopping for diapers the first time and literally had no idea what he was doing – ever since then they had become close friends who occasionally babysat the kids for each other or simply met up to let the little ones have some fun. It also helped that Youngbae, Hyorin’s husband, was one of the nicest people Jiyong had ever known and they had become close friends over the years too.

“-but only if you behave yourself today, are we clear?”

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry too much about that one.”

Jiyong was about to give Jihoon a small kiss on the cheek and finally get his butt to work, when someone behind him started to speak with him – the small shudder that went through his body was getting vehemently ignored by Jiyong.

“Seunghyun-hyung!”

Jiyong didn’t even had the time to let go of his son and turn around fully, before his son was already running off, hugging a man tightly before letting go again and running off to god knows where. Little kids and their sheer endless stamina for fun and games was absolutely amazing.

But, wait.

Seunghyun?

That name sounded all too familiar, since his son loved to talk about all the fun things Seungyhun was always planning for the other kids and Jihoon and how Seunghyun knew the best jokes _ever_ and that he was super _tall_ so being carried by him was as if climbing a _giant_ and – the list went on and on. Jiyong would never admit, but he was feeling a little bit jealous of how much his son seemed to like that Seunghyun and how many cool things he always did with him – things he never really had the time for. But then again, he was grateful that the teachers seemed to be as enthusiastic as Seunghyun was.

Now that Jihoon was out and about, Jiyong was giving his full attention to the stranger his son had called Seungyhun not even five seconds ago and who was now standing in front of him with a dimpled smile and slightly ruffled hair. He felt a small part of him dying as he looked at him. The man in front of him was half a head taller than he was, but with those broad shoulders and those cheekbones, Jiyong all of a sudden felt really small compared to him. The devilish handsome face wasn’t really helping either and god, if this man was going to speak to him again he would end up having a heart attack for sure.

“My name is Seunghyun, you must be Jihoon’s dad, right?”

Jiyong finally snapped out of his trance, a small cough masking his silence, before finally speaking up and shaking the extended hand in front of him. – totally not acknowledging how nice Seunghyun’s hand felt, warm and soft and big and – Jiyong had to stop his train of thoughts there.

“Yes, I am his dad – normally Dami, my sister, drops him off and picks him up again, but she has been sick for a few days now, so I do it.” While speaking his eyes had been roaming the room, looking anywhere but at the piercing gaze of the man in front of him.

“-seems like I picked the right kindergarten for Jihoon after all, the paintings on the wall are amazing. The kids must love them.”

As he heard a short, breathy chuckle from the other man and saw him nervously biting his lip, he felt his heartbeat pick up again – damn, this man was way too handsome for his own good.

“Thank you. I actually drew these when we first opened, and the kids love them, even though poor Totoro over there more looks like a grey cloud, but I tried my best. Thank you, Mr. Kwon.”

“Oh, please call me Jiyong. I feel so old when I get called like that outside of work.” He already felt his cheeks heating up – was he seriously flirting with Jihoon’s kindergarten teacher? What was wrong with him? But then again Seunghyun seemed like a sweet person and those dimples did things to Jiyong he didn’t even know he would feel about someone, so a little bit of flirting couldn’t hurt – right?

“Okay, well then-“

Seunghyun was about to speak up again, when suddenly Jiyong’s phone went off and he quickly reached for it and picked up, only to get screamed at by his partner Lee Chaerin for being late.

“Jiyong, where the hell are you? You know we have to appear in court in less than forty minutes and we still need to go through-“

Jiyong felt his blood run cold. Fuck. He had totally forgotten about that. Normally, he and Chaerin did most of their work from their office, rarely having to go out to meet clients somewhere or being called to court, but today was apparently one of those rare occasions.

“I’ll be right there, don’t worry Chaerin!”

He ended the call quickly, only to look up and to see the amused face of Seunghyun.

“I’m so sorry, but I really need to go. I-“

“-am a lawyer, I know. Little Jihoon rarely shut ups about how his dad is the most amazing dad ever, because he is the reason bad people are behind prison bars and will never come out again.”

Jiyong felt another wave of heat rush through his body as Seungyhun smiled fondly at him.

He quickly muttered a hurried “goodbye” before he ran out of the door and back to his car again.

Today was totally not his day.

 

 

As soon as he arrived in his office, Jiyong got dragged to court by a very pissed off Chaerin. In the end, they didn’t even have the time to go through all the facts once again, and Jiyong was sure he was going to lose this case – since the rest of his day was already going by so marvellously – but apparently someone up there, or down there – you never know – really, really liked him and he ended up winning. When he finally arrived at his office again, five hours and a splitting headache later, he had almost forgotten about the very hot and very welcomed distraction this morning.

Almost.

His phone chimed up and the LCD screen lit up.

A message from Dami.

 

Dami [14:23]

Hey, little bro – how was dropping off Jihoon  
this morning? Met anyone interesting?? :b

 

Oh, this snake. She lowkey planned this.

 

Jiyong [14:24]

WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME ONE OF JIHOON’S  
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER LOOKS LIKE PHOTOSHOPPED  
THIS ISN’T FAIR !!!

 

She could have at least mentioned Seunghyun once. Just walking in like that turned out to be a shock to the system and it mildly annoyed Jiyong. It had been years since he last had felt anything remotely close to attraction towards another human being – too busy with being there for little Jihoon and taking care of him, while working full time. He didn’t have the time to fool around with anyone half heartily, but at the same time he didn’t feel like he was ready for a serious relationship. A serious relationship meant that he would have to let someone not only into his life, but also into Jihoon’s life and he knew that if the relationship wouldn’t turn out well like they normally did for him, he would not only lose a partner, but Jihoon a potential parental figure. And that was something he just couldn’t risk – even though this Seunghyun guy was really tempting.

Jiyong quickly shake his head. He only met this guy once and already had a small crush for him? God, no. It wasn’t as if he was going to completely fall for that guy or something like that – for all he knew Seunghyun could be straight and not interested in him anyways.

 

Dami [14:26]

Ha, I knew you would like her!! Did you  
guys exchange numbers?? Spill it, young bro!

 

Jiyong [14:28]

Wait, _her_??  
I am talking about Seunghyun?? Have you not  
seen how utterly amazing he looks like? And no  
we did not exchange numbers or anything, I was  
running a bit late this morning and had to be in  
court so I had to leave immediately...Chaerin  
can be super scary when she is angry…

 

Dami [14:33]

YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT SEUNGHYUN?!  
Oh, wow. Didn’t see that one coming, whenever  
I try to talk to him he excuses himself and walks   
off, I don’t think he likes me very much : (  
But anyways, you are still into guys?? Thought that  
was only a phase when you were thirteen and had the  
hots for _what-was-this-guy’s-name-again_ in _The Mummy_??

 

Jiyong [14:45]

Who else would I be talking about?? Have you seen him??  
and shut up, you were head over heels for that stupid  
Jesse dude…and why wouldn’t I be into guys anymore,  
I am bisexual, remember?

 

Dami [14:46]

I just wasn’t sure, because the last time you mentioned it  
was ages ago and you never really dated guys as far as  
I know, just a bit surprised, but I am super happy that you  
have a date!! You need to tell me everything!

 

Jiyong [14:55]

Thank you, Dami. But there is no date and I certainly  
won’t ask him out – you know I don’t want to date  
and I certainly won’t just hook up with one of Jihoon’s  
Kindergarten teachers, that’s just unprofessional.

 

Dami [14:56]

: ((((((((

 

Jiyong [14:58]

Dami, no.

 

Dami [15:03]

: (((((((((((((((((((

 

 _You suck_ , was all Jiyong thought as he placed his phone next to him on his office desk and ignored the rest of the incoming and high key annoyingly texts from his sister. He understood why his Dami was so persistent when it came to him dating again; she was scared that he was shutting himself away completely and focusing his attention solely on Jihoon, which wasn’t really healthy and not too far from the truth if he was being honest. But what should he do if no one sparked his interest? He never felt comfortable with hooking up, but then again, he never really went out on dates either.

He sighed.

Why was this whole dating thing so confusing? More importantly; why was he already thinking about all the “what if”, when he didn’t even know if Seunghyun was into him or not? Maybe he had just been nice to him, because he had never seen him at the kindergarten before and got curious what Jihoon’s father looked like? It shouldn’t matter. It really shouldn’t matter and Jiyong really needed to concentrate on work now anyways. He shake his head again and finally opened the untouched file, which had been laying in front of him for the past twenty minutes, and got back to work.

No time for distractions.

 

 

The next few hours went by in a rush and Jiyong almost didn’t realize how late it was already until a very happy Jihoon bounced into his office, with an equally happy Mina right behind him and a slightly tired looking Hyorin. He quickly finished the few small things he needed to get done for that day, packed his things up and went out to grab the promised ice cream with Hyorin and the kids. It was a nice evening and it was also good to spend some time with someone who wasn’t a client or was working in the same office as Jiyong was. Being a single father while working full time rarely allowed him to spend much time with friends – Jihoon was after all his number one priority.

It was getting late when they finally made their way back home – since Dami was still sick and Jiyong doubted that she would be in any condition to cook for the three of them, he picked up take out from their favourite restaurant not far from where they lived.

“Dami, we’re home!”

Calling for his sister was almost useless, since Jihoon was already rushing through the house looking for the _world’s bestestes aunt_ ever. Dami always smiled whenever Jihoon called her that.  
Once Jiyong was done with setting up the table, Dami and Jihoon finally emerged from down the hall and joined him at the table – his son was still talking passionately about the things he had done today at kindergarten and how much fun it was to get some ice cream afterwards. Dami was listening to him, but obviously distracted by the food on the table and after another five minutes of Jihoon talking, they finally sat down and started to eat. The room got filled with happy laughter as the youngest continued to talk about his day, getting some smart remarks from his aunt, causing both to giggle to themselves. It felt good to have a home like that, but sometimes Jiyong really wished he would have someone to share this with – not that he wasn’t happy to have Dami but having a partner in his life would make it just a tiny bit better. But what would happen if he would have someone? They would leave. And it was frustrating. He wanted to share this family life with someone, but he also knew that it was a risk which he wasn’t willing to take that lightly. Sometimes being an adult with responsibilities sucked.

His thoughts must have been reflected on his face, because once Jihoon got up and left the table, he could feel his sister’s eyes on him.

“Everything okay, Ji?”

Jiyong simply nodded and started to put their plates into the dishwasher – his sister following him into the kitchen immediately to put away the rest of the food. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see the faint smirk on Dami’s face and he already knew what was about to come.

“So, Seunghyun, huh?”

Jiyong groaned.

“Can we just forget about this and move on? You know that I am not really interested in hooking up, especially not with one of Jihoon’s kindergarten teachers.”

“Oh, come on. Maybe he would even date you? Why don’t you just ask him out?” Jiyong already felt a blush creeping on his face at the mere thought of _simply asking him out_. Was she insane?

“Well, first of all: He is Jihoon’s kindergarten teacher and it would be super awkward if he rejected me – I don’t even know if he is into men – plus, I have never really dated a man before, maybe I am not suited to date a man? Secondly, do you know how awkward it would be if we did work out? How should I explain that to Jihoon? _“Hey, munchkin – your favourite teacher and I are boning during the night and he is taking care of you, too”_ That would go down well I can already tell.”

Dami, who had at first looked a bit frustrated couldn’t help but laugh loudly at how over dramatic her brother was being.

“Well, if you use _exactly_ those words I am sure it will be awkward but come on – it is worth a shot. Maybe he could be the one you were waiting for?”

“No, I won’t ask him out. No way. I would much rather appreciate that tiny little crush from _afar_. Thank you very much, Dami.”

 

 

Only now that Seunghyun was standing in front of him again, Jiyong wasn’t too sure if he would be able to simply admire him from afar. Especially not since Seunghyun had seemed to make it a goal of his to talk to him every time he dropped Jihoon of or picked him up again. Which was quiet often these past two weeks and with every new meeting, Jiyong felt that nervous, familiar ache you felt when you are first developing a _huge_ crush on someone forming in his stomach and he just couldn’t stop it.

“Hey, Jiyong. Got a moment?”

Oh fuck, those dimples.

“Sure, what do you need?”

They had started to make small conversation the first few times they had talked – the usual how is Jihoon behaving during the day? Are there any cute stories about Jihoon? Is he getting along well with the others? The first few days, their topic of conversation was Jihoon – but as the meetings went on they slowly started to talk about other things as well, about how both of them had ended up with the jobs they had, about the small things they enjoyed; basically about everything that came to their mind and Jiyong had to admit that he was both surprised and impressed whenever they found another topic they both enjoyed.

Even though they had complete different jobs, they still enjoyed the same things mostly – they both loved art, they even shared the same interest in movies and music and, oh god can it get better than that, even majorly shared the same opinions in politics. It was almost too good to be true and Jiyong had to remind himself daily that the bright smile he always saw on Seunghyun’s face that made his heart flutter was totally platonic, or that the faint brush of the back of Seunghyun’s hand whenever he moved his hands around while talking was _definitely_ not flirting. It was normal behaviour and he shouldn’t read too much into it, especially not when Seungyhun got scolded for neglecting his duty as a kindergarten teacher because he was _once again_ talking to _Mr. Kwon_.

Jiyong desperately needed to believe that it wasn’t more than that, because if it really was more than just pleasant conversation with someone who had the same interests as him, then he really didn’t know if he was ready for what this _something else_ could be.

“Uh, well – I was wondering if you and, well, mostly Jihoon would be interested to join us at the Summer Festival? It’s this weekend and there will be many attractions for kids – face painting and stuff like that – and there will also be some drinks for the parent later on?”

Jiyong tried really hard to hold back that goofy smile he just _knew_ was spreading across his face right now and he silently curses to himself.

“Sure, I am sure Jihoon would love to spend some more time with you anyways – he barely shut ups about you and all the cool things you always do. Playing giant and all that.”

Seungyhun sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well, I am glad that I left such a lasting impression on your son.”, he shuffles from one leg to the other one, “and uhm, could I maybe have your number? So, you can text me when you and Jihoon arrive – you probably know how huge that festival is so finding someone there is nearly impossible.”

This time Jiyong does bite his lip to hold back the grin.

“Sure! Just give me your phone and I’ll save it for you.” Jiyong makes quick work of typing in his number and name – calling himself as well to make sure he has Seunghyun’s number, too. _Just in case_ , Jiyong thinks, _and definitely not for other purposes_.

“There you go.” Seunghyun takes his phone back and awkwardly puts it away again. Sometimes Jiyong is taken aback by how someone this handsome can be this dorky – just the other day Jiyong walked into the kindergarten while Seungyhun was doing a very spot on impression of a gorilla, jumping around with kids left and right. It was a sight for the gods and if that wasn’t adorable enough for Jiyong – his taste in men must be crooked – he felt himself swoon even more when Jihoon ran up to Seungyhun and he picked him up, only now realising that Jiyong was watching. The slight embarrassed face he made as he walked up to Jiyong was almost enough for him to want to jump the older man right at that moment.

Seunghyun wasn’t doing much better right at that moment – he just couldn’t stand still, continuously moving his weight from one leg to another and sometimes dragging the tip of his shoes across the floor.

God, how could a man be this adorable.

Jiyong wanted to speak some more with him, when suddenly a loud crash was heard from the room next door and the panicked screaming of one of the teachers, followed by cackling from what appeared to be a handful of children.

“Well, then we will see each other this weekend for sure! I have to get back to work to make sure none of the kids have set a fire yet or something – you never know what those kids are up to.”

Jiyong smiled at him.

“Have fun, brave soldier. Don’t let them eat you alive – Jihoon would be devastated if something would happen to you!” Seunghyun was already walking backwards to the main rooms – his smile never leaving his lips especially not when he smirked at Jiyong one more time to drop a bomb Jiyong had not been anticipating.

“Only Jihoon?”, a last bright smirk spread across his face before running off to where the loud ruckus was coming from. And Jiyong felt as if he was on fire.

Damn him and his dimples.

Did Seunghyun really just say that to him? Or was he trying to be funny? This was seriously driving Jiyong mad – not knowing if Seungyhun was simply an overly friendly _straight_ guy who was open and friendly with his friends, or if Seunghyun was _not entirely_ straight and was definitely flirting with him. Jiyong felt the heat spreading from his face down the collar of his shirt.

He needed to get to work.

 

 

Much to Jiyong’s demise, Dami was already feeling way better than she did a couple of days before, which meant she will be the one to pick up Jihoon from now on again, which furthermore meant he won’t be able to drop him off either, which _ultimately_ meant that he won’t be able to talk to Seungyhun anymore – and he really, _really_ couldn’t abuse the fact that Seunghyun seemed to trust him enough to give him his number. He couldn’t just message him and ask if they wanted to meet, especially not if Jihoon wouldn’t be around – or could he?

Jiyong decided that no, he definitely would not meet up with Seunghyun – what for? He still tried to ignore the warm, fuzzy feeling he always got when Seunghyun was around and how mushy his brain got. He really didn’t want a relationship and had no time for a stupid little rush like that.

 

 

The week went by without many incidents besides Jihoon dropping ice cream on his favourite stuffed animal – Captain Snuggles – and Jiyong fucking up dinner so they are having another pizza night. Dami didn’t seem to care much and neither did Jihoon, they simply munch down their food happily, before disappearing to their rooms again, leaving Jiyong alone in the kitchen.

As much as he hated to admit it, he really missed talking to Seunghyun already. They only talked about ten to twenty minutes each morning and late afternoon, but Jiyong had really appreciated it. He didn’t know how Seunghyun had done it, but he made him laugh all the time with his stupid jokes and (bad) impressions and he would even ask about his job and if everything was going fine. Half of the time Jiyong didn’t even realise how long they had been talking until either Chaerin, or Chaerin’s assistant Hyeyoun, had called him to ask him why he was running late _again_.

Looking at it from an outer perspective it seemed like Seunghyun really _was_ flirting with him, but what if he wasn’t? If only there was a way he could- Bingo.

“Jihoon, where are you?”

“In my room!”

Okay, while interrogating your kid in order to gain suitable information about a not crush slash maybe crush slash potential lover slash please be my husband might not be pedagogically valuable – Jiyong needed answers. Fast. Or he might go insane and just jump Seunghyun at the next possible moment.

Jihoon was playing with his Lego castle he and Jiyong had built during their last family Sunday – it was sort of a tradition since Jiyong had to work most of the time. Each Sunday they would spend the day as a family – go to the zoo, the movies, anywhere they wanted to go or stayed at home playing with Lego. It filled Jiyong with warmth as he watched his son being lost in his own fantasy world while moving the little cars and planes as if they were involved in an adrenaline filled car chase. Probably the best moment to ask Jihoon a thing or two about his favourite kindergarten teacher without being suspicious.

“So, you really seem to like Seunghyun, am I right?”

His son didn’t really pay any attention to him, making noises while the car crashed into the Lego wall.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go to the summer festival this year – Seunghyun is going to be there as well. We could all spend some time together; wouldn’t that be awesome?”

At that, his son perked up – but only a little bit, still way too emerged into his fantasy.

“That would be cool, yeah.”

Jiyong smiled as Jihoon grabbed one of the animal figures which were scattered across the room, apparently adding even more plotlines to the already on-going car chase.

“I was wondering if Seunghyun would bring someone as well? Because you are bringing me and aunty Dami along and I just wanted to know if there might be another adult with us – I heard that aunty Hyorin and uncle Youngbae might join us with Mina as well.”

Jihoon stopped his movements for a second and looked up at Jiyong, head tilted sideways as if he was thinking about something really hard, only to lighten up after a moment and smiling again.

“I hope he brings Yumi!”

It felt like a sucker punch. Of course, Seunghyun was already with someone. A someone that was a woman. He bit his lip.

“Yumi?”

Why did he ask? Wasn’t it painful enough that he had gotten his hopes up like that during the past weeks that he might have someone to share his family life with? It had been too good to be true.

“Yes, she is super cute and pretty and nice! He brought her with him the other day and she played with us all day long! I hope she will visit us again.”

With that, Jihoon seemed to think the conversation was over and turned back to his Lego and cars.

Jiyong slowly got up from where he had been kneeling while talking to his son and made his way to his own room. Damn him. How could he get his hopes up like that? And why did he had to develop a crush on someone that easily after such a long time? Apparently Jiyong didn’t deserve anyone in his life and this was the way the universe was letting him down easily.

“Oh, and Daddy?” Jiyong stopped in his tracks.

“Yes, munchkin?”

“Seunghyun said to me that I should tell you that he wanted to ask you something – he also said that you should come and visit me and him at the kindergarten!”

“Uh, yeah sure. I will go and ask Dami if it’s okay for me to drop you off.” Jiyong left the room, only to have a small mental breakdown. What was Seunghyun going to ask him? Shit, did he figure out that Jiyong had a crush on him? Was he going to get dumped? Well, they weren’t dating and Seunghyun had a girlfriend, so it must be him getting rejected. Definitely. Jiyong ran his fingers through his hair, trying to comb them back a bit, only to run his fingers through them again and completely mess them up again.

Dami crossed his path on his way to his room and looked at him with a confused expression on her face. “Everything okay, little brother?”  
Jiyong only nodded and muttered a quick “yeah, yeah”, before asking her to get Jihoon ready for bed, since he wanted to go to bed early today. But before he reached his room, he decided to grab a glass of wine and sulk on the balcony with a cigarette in hand – love, or even the early stage of crushes, sucked balls. Why did everyone write about it as if it was the most beautiful thing in the whole damn world?

No.

Kwon Jiyong wouldn’t let himself down like that again – there were people who needed him to be there for them; be it Jihoon, Dami, his clients – he couldn’t just mop around and do nothing, and he would start not giving a damn about this stupid puppy love starting tomorrow.

Today though, he would enjoy his glass of wine and cigarette and curse at every single couple that would show up on the TV and wreck his brain to figure out what Seunghyun wanted to ask him. It was not like his brain would magically just shut up about that and let him get any sleep, might as well enjoy a good wine and a cigarette while working himself up like that.

Crushes sucked, and he needed to get rid of his.

 

 

The only problem with crushes was that, even if it would be the most logical thing to do, they didn’t just disappear into thin air – no matter how fucked the situation was, which was probably why Jiyong was standing in front of his closet early Saturday morning, trying to find a suiting outfit for the day. It was utterly ridiculous and stupid, and he knew it was, but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to look good, no – scratch that – he wanted to look _jaw dropping_ , he wanted to look _so good_ that even a straight guy like Seunghyun who had a girlfriend would fall head over heels for him. Obviously, he still needed to keep a certain air of professionalism, he was a _lawyer_ and more importantly a _father_ after all.

“Dear god, Jiyong. We are going to the summer festival not to the Paris Fashion Week, just pick _something_!”

Dami, who had been waiting for Jiyong to get ready for an hour now, was standing in his doorframe, impatiently tapping her foot against the hardwood floor while sending annoyed glances at her younger brother, who – according to her – was acting unreasonable.

“You told me he has a girlfriend, so why try to impress him so badly? Doesn’t this make it harder for you to move on from this little crush and maybe find someone else?”

Jiyong finally pulled on a pair of tight, skinny jeans that hugged his ass _just right_ and one of his most favourite shirt – it was a wine red, low cut shirt which revealed just enough if his collar bones. He quickly French tugged it into his pants and grabbed the dark grey blazer that he had used as a base for the rest of his outfit. It was too flamboyant, as Chaerin and Hyeyoun had told him, to wear it to court so today would be the perfect time to show it off. He quickly put a handful of rings onto his fingers and pushed his raven black hair back one last time as he checked himself in the mirror.

“Well, if he doesn’t want to get some of my hot Kwon ass, then I might as well try to find someone today at the summer festival – wouldn’t that be perfect? There will be a lot of parents with their kids, I might as well find myself another single parent and who knows – maybe it will be a match?”

Dami only rolled her eyes at that.

“Daddyyy, can we please leave already?”, seemingly not only Dami was getting impatient – Jihoon already stood by the entrance of the house, backpack packed with his favourite plushy and ready to leave.

“One moment, munchkin!”, Jiyong dashed into the bathroom and applied his favourite perfume, did a last once over in the mirror and walked to the door where the rest of the family was already waiting.

“Why are you dressed like that?”, apparently not only Dami had caught up the fact that Jiyong took a bit more care than usually about his appearance today.

“Dressed like what?”

“Like that..”

“Why? Is it bad? Should Daddy change again?”

“NO! GOD NO! Jiyong you look amazing, can we please just go?”

Before either of the two boys could say anything more they already got ushered out of the house and pushed into the car.

“Jeez, no need to get so rough Dami-“

“ _Shut up and drive_!”

“Whatever you say, _Rihanna_.”

 

 

As it turned out, exchanging numbers with Seunghyun had been a necessity after all – the festival was _huge_. Not as huge as some music festivals, but still big enough to get lost very quickly. Jiyong held onto Jihoon’s hand just a bit tighter. He really didn’t want to lose the little one in the crowd – today was already stressful enough as it was, adding a lost kid to the list of things was definitely not something he wanted to do and go through. After walking through the crowded place for about ten minutes he decided to finally give in and message Seunghyun. If they would continue to simply look for him like that they would never find him.

 

Jiyong [15:03]

Hey Seunghyun, we’re finally here...where are you?

 

Thankfully, he replied immediately.

 

Seunghyun [15:04]

Hey Jiyong! I am near the pond, do you know that big, old  
weeping willow? Right there is where the kids are getting their  
face painted – I’m right next to them (:

 

After another ten minutes of walking, because apparently, they had been on the complete wrong side of the park after all, they finally made it to the pond and said willow – only that there was no sign of Seunghyun. Jiyong tried to not let his disappointment show, which was relatively easy when he got dragged to where the other kids were getting their face painted by an overly enthusiastic Jihoon. He was here for him after all, sure he wanted to see Seunghyun, too, but he mostly wanted to enjoy his day with Dami and Jihoon, who currently got turned into a tiger – stripes getting painted across his cheeks and a bright smile on his lips. It was really one of the most adorable sights – Jiyong quickly pulled out his phone and started to take pictures. Jihoon loathed it when his father would turn into a paparazzi and annoy him with taking about a hundred pictures, but Jiyong never let an opportunity to take pictures of his son go to waste. It got even better when Dami joined a whining Jihoon to get her face painted as well – she was getting turned into a zebra.

“Look! We are now a stripe family! Daddy, you should get your face painted, too!”

“Oh, no – I don’t think that is a very good ide-“

“Nu-uh! Come on daddy, pleeeeease?”

Needless to say, a few seconds later he was sitting on a tiny chair and getting all types of paint on his skin. Truth to be told, he had never been a huge fan of things like that, but seeing how happy it made Jihoon (while trying to ignore Dami who was now taking pictures of him with her phone and laughing at him) he gladly gave in.

“How do I look?”

“You look like a very weird hybrid between tiger and zebra – does that make sense?”

“Ha-ha, very funny, Dami.”

“Aww, don’t sulk – come on, let’s take a picture together!”

While Jihoon hated getting pictures taken of himself, he loved it whenever the three of them would take pictures together – kids and their logic, but Jiyong wasn’t about to complain, especially not when the outcome was a ton of adorable selfies.

“Dami, can I get cotton candy?” Jihoon was using his puppy face again – lower lip jutted out, eyes big – the full program.

“Why don’t you ask your father?”

“Because he always says “no” when I want it..”

“Hey, that’s not true! Dami – go get him some cotton candy.”

The second Jihoon’s pouty face changed into a big smile, he knew that Jihoon had only used that strategy to get what he wanted – damn that kid and his way of getting him and Dami buy whatever he wanted, sometimes that kid was too sweet and smart for his own good. His sister took him by the hand and escorted him to get his desired candy, leaving Jiyong behind.

The weather was getting hotter again – the past few weeks had been dominated by mostly cloudy and rather cool days, especially since it was late August already. Around that time of the year, the sun most of the time was unforgiving and the heat unbearable, but not this year. Thankfully the sky had cleared up during noon, offering a rather sunny day which suited this festival perfectly. A slight breeze cooled down the weather just enough to be in need for a light jacket – or in Jiyong’s case, a blazer. While giving his whole attention to Jihoon and Dami, his plan to woo Seunghyun had been pushed back into the furthest corner of his brain, but it got pulled back into full planning, once he was alone. As if on cue, Seunghyun suddenly appeared next to him with a dazzling smile on his lips.

“Hey there, sorry that I wasn’t here when you were looking for me – had a small emergency with Yumi. Enjoying yourself so far?”

“It’s actually really cool, Jihoon is having a lot of fun and Youngbae and Hyorin should join us with Mina in a bit, too, so Jihoon has someone to play with who he already knows.”

“Sounds good to me – I guess it would get a bit boring if he would have to spend all of his day just with us, don’t you think?”

 

 

The rest of the day went by in a blur, one moment they were all playing and laughing along with Jihoon and Mina, who ran around with their arms extended, pretending to be airplanes, the next the sun was already setting, and the kids were seconds away from falling asleep. It took all of them way longer to get the kids settled inside the cars than usually, because whiney, tired and cranky children most of the time gave you a hard time no matter what you wanted them to do – even if you were about to put them to bed. Another five minutes later an Jihoon was finally safely tugged away in his seat, soundly asleep while clutching Captain Snuggles to his chest. Dami had already taken a seat on the driver side of the car, while Jiyong climbed out of the backseat to say goodbye to Seunghyun, who had been kind enough to carry some of their stuff while Jiyong had been carrying Jihoon.

“Well, this was quiet an interesting day – thank you for inviting us, it was lots of fun.”

Jiyong had closed the door behind him to make sure Dami wasn’t listening to their conversation, but since they were only a meter away from the car Jiyong doubted that it made much of a difference.

“Uh, actually I was hoping you would want to see the fireworks? I mean, I know you probably won’t be able to stay behind since you have to take care of Jihoon and I-“

Seunghyun had just started to stumble over his own words, when Dami yanked open the car door.

“Of course, he would love to join you! Jiyong, don’t worry about a thing, I will take care of Jihoon – you, have some fun!”

Jiyong couldn’t even say a word, before Dami thrusted his bag into his hands and smirked up at him with a devilish smirk on her lips and hugging him tight – only to whisper a “go get him tiger” into his ear before getting back into the car and driving off again. He felt his head spin – this was certainly not something he had planned. Was his hair still okay? Should he put on a little bit of make up or remove the face painting he got earlier? Fuck, he could already feel his heart going crazy in his chest. Did Seungyhun even know what this looked like? – could Dami be any more obvious than that?

He slowly turned his attention towards Seunghyun again, only to see him standing there rather unsurely of himself, not knowing if the fast reaction of Dami was a good thing or not.

“Sure, I would love to see them – I mean, I really love fireworks and Dami knows that, that’s probably why she was so eager for me to join you.”

This seemed to ease the tension out of Seunghyun, because his slight frown turned into a warm smile that made Jiyong weak in the knees.

“Perfect, then come on let’s go!” Seungyhun reached out for Jiyong’s wrist, dragging him through the crowd. He got hit by the different smells surrounding the place – cotton candy, hotdogs and everything in between, while the sun was setting low on the horizon, dipping the whole scenery into a beautiful warm orange. Another wave of butterflies rumbled in Jiyong’s stomach as he wordlessly stumbled behind Seunghyun – right now he could only see the back of his head, but he smiled nevertheless. He was here, after a beautiful day with his family and close friends, a day filled with so much laughter and joy that it almost made his little heart burst with happiness. He had so many pictures of himself and Jihoon thanks to Seunghyun taking pictures of them almost every moment. Seunghyun, who had invited them to join him at the festival who had been nothing but sweet towards him and Jihoon and also towards the rest of the group. Seunghyun who had without batting an eyelash carried Jiyong’s bags for him and who was now dragging him across the place just so they could see the fireworks. Right at that moment, Jiyong completely forgot about the fact that Seungyhun was already seeing someone – even if he would remember it, he didn’t care right now. Seunghyun was here with him and not his girlfriend, he spent time with him and made him smile in a way only a romantic interest could make you smile. It had been way too long since Jiyong had been able to smile like that and for that alone he was thankful.

They finally came to a stop; it was a bit away from the crowd on one of the small hills in the park. The fresh grass was getting crushed by their footsteps, leaving a small trail behind them – and the hill offered the most beautiful sight in the whole park, if not in the city. You could see the pond near them – the water was glittering in the evening sun, you could see the big fields of grass and the flowerbeds that were scattered around the whole park – you could even see the rose garden at the far end of the park. Jiyong would never admit it, mainly because Dami would tease him until the bitter end, but he loved flowers – he loved nature in general it was so quiet and peaceful, quite the contrary to his everyday life. It took him a moment or two to realize that Seunghyun was standing beside him, still holding onto his hand and starring at him with a font smile on his face. Heat immediately shot into his face and he let go of Seunghyun’s hand, only to pull his jacket a bit tighter around him. He knew he didn’t mask his embarrassment very well when Seunghyun continued to smile at him, but instead of teasing him he shrugged off his hoodie and wordlessly placed it on Jiyong’s shoulders. It was only the end of August, but the evenings were already cold enough that you needed a jacket not to turn into an ice cube and Jiyong was really thankful for Seunghyun being so sweet to give him his hoodie – not only was he thankful for it, but another rush of butterflies turned his stomach upside down in the most pleasant way possible.

Who was he kidding, this wasn’t just a small oh-my-god-he-is-so-hot crush, this was a full blown please-have-my-babies-and-grow-old-with-me crush.

“Hey, do you want something to drink?” Jiyong was almost straddled by Seunghyun’s deep voice, cutting through the pleasant silence between them.

“Sure – should I go get us something?”

“No need.” Jiyong looked at the older man with a funny expression on his face, which turned into bewilderment when Seunghyun pulled a flask out of his bag and handed it to Jiyong.

“You- you have a flask with you? At a family festival?”

“Well, uh – if you have to deal with the parents of small children everyday it’s kinda the only way not to lose your mind?”

Jiyong stared at Seunghyun – who in returned seemed to get uneasy and lowered the flask, almost as if ashamed at what he did-

“This..was meant as a joke, y’know? I would never drink in front of kids especially not while working and I really hope you don’t think bad of me now, because I look after your kid an-“

-but then Jiyong couldn’t hold back anymore and burst out laughing – almost doubling over while clutching his stomach and whipping away the tears at the corner of his eyes.

“Oh, god – you should have seen your face. Oh my god, Seunghyun – I’m not mad that you have a flask with you, come on gimme a sip. I know all too well what you must go through each day, I am a father as well as an attorney – I more often than not have to deal with divorces and who gets the custody over the child and believe me, most of the time I would kill to have some alcohol in me during those cases.” He quickly grabbed the flask and took a sip – whiskey. The burn was all too familiar at the back of his throat and the strong taste on his tongue; the scent lingering in the air a bit as he passed the flask to the other man. He never had the chance to drink something nowadays – besides occasionally a glass of wine during the late evening when Jihoon was already in bed, especially not with company as good as Seunghyun – who visibly relaxed as he took a sip from the flask as well.

“I think you are the first person that actually finds me funny – normally people just stare at me or hit me when I make a joke.”, a soft chuckle accompanying his words as he passed the flask back to Jiyong.

“Well, probably because I pity you – you know. I mean poor you, you always have to deal with five-year olds who puke on you, because they ate something bad, or who climb you with their dirty hands and probably use your shirt as a tissue to blow their nose.” The teasing obvious in Jiyong’s voice.

“Oh, really? So, you only came to the festival today, because you pity me? And you probably only are up here with me, because you feel sorry for me am I right?” Seunghyun’s words would have sounded judging or upset to anyone else, but Jiyong was by now able to detect when Seunghyun was joking and when not; the small smirk that tugged at the corner of his lips was also an indicator for it.

Jiyong’s giggles bubbled up again and turned into full blown laughter when Seunghyun bumped his right shoulder against his left one – slightly pushing him off balance.

“Now I see how things are. I only needed to get some alcohol into you, for you to show your true colours.”

“Oh, believe me – you haven’t even seen the surface of my colours. I am way more than I reveal to most people.” Jiyong took another gulp from the flask, the alcohol already showing some of its effect – warming up his cheeks and turning them into a rosy colour.

“Does that mean that you will show them to me someday?” Okay, Jiyong was definitely tipsy, because otherwise Seunghyun just winked at him with a grin on his face. Just the thought of it send him into another fit of giggles – slightly leaning forward, before eventually letting himself fall back onto the soft grass. Seunghyun just looked at the laughing man in front of him with an amused look on his face, shaking his head slightly as he sat down close to Jiyong.

It was either the alcohol or Seunghyun’s close presence, but he felt heat spreading through his body and his laughter slowly died down. The sun was nearly gone by now – only a couple of sun rays tickling the crown of the highest trees around them – and their surroundings were already getting darker, but Jiyong didn’t really pay attention to any of it. Instead, his eyes were glued to Seunghyun’s. Ever since he had met the other man for the very first time he had been taken aback by his intense gaze – the iris that was nearly as dark as the pupil, almost black, which always sent a small shudder down his back. It was as if Seunghyun could pin him down with his gaze alone. Jiyong slowly sat up – body moving closer to the other man until he was only a few centimetres away from him. It was probably Dutch courage or something like that, that made him do the thing he did next – but right at that moment he didn’t care at all.

He leaned forward – one hand curling around Seunghyun’s neck, the other one grabbing his collar, yanking him down a bit into a hard kiss. Jiyong immediately pulled him even closer – tongue between Seunghyun’s lips as soon as he opened his mouth in shock. Hands started to roam bodies, teeth nibbling on lips and tongues and made his head spin. The fireworks behind them went off, but Jiyong didn’t pay any attention to them, but to the fireworks inside his stomach – kissing Seunghyun felt too good to be true and he just couldn’t stop. He dived in again, his hand around the back of Seunghyun’s neck, his fingers tugging at the hair at the back of his neck.

It was over way too soon, but he needed to stop for a minute to take a deep breath – his heart was beating a thousand miles per hour against his ribcage and his fingers were shaking from all the adrenaline pumping through his veins. Jiyong hadn’t even realized that he had closed his eyes, but it made reality so much harsher when he opened them again. In front of him, sat Seunghyun. Eyes wide, lips swollen and bitten – staring at him and not saying a word.

It felt like someone dumped a bucket of ice cold water on him.

Fuck.

What the hell had he done?

Was he insane?

It was as if someone was pressing his throat shut and Jiyong had troubles breathing, fear racking through his body and all he could do was gab at Seunghyun as if not believing what he had just done. Seunghyun seemed to slowly regain his senses – his eyes were darting left and right between Jiyong’s and he was about to say something, but Jiyong didn’t want to hear it. Instead, he pushed Seunghyun back as hard as he could, got up and ran into the direction they had come from – down the hill and through the masses that were still admiring the ongoing firework. Jiyong felt sick to his stomach, like someone giving him a sucker punch just ten times worse as the emotional whiplash hit him. What the hell did he think was going to happen? That Seunghyun would forget about his girlfriend and just make out with him on the hill – or even better – have his way with him then and there?

He hadn’t thought about anything at all at that moment, just about how good his lips felt pressed against Seunghyun’s and how he could feel the well-toned muscles underneath Seunghyun’s shirt.

Jiyong just kept on running until he was sure that Seunghyun wasn’t following him and that he was far enough away from people, so they wouldn’t look at him weirdly as silent tears streamed down his face. _Well done Jiyong_ , was all he thought bitterly. _You just fucked up a perfectly good friendship_.

 

 

Jiyong eventually had hailed a cap that dropped him off at home and he went to bed immediately. He didn’t want to think about the other man, he didn’t even check his phone – he threw it onto the coffee table in front of the couch along with the – hoodie.

Damnit.

Jiyong still had Seunghyun’s hoodie.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Now his plan of hiding and never having to face Seunghyun again would never work – especially not when he didn’t want to involve his annoying sister, which he couldn’t prevent anyways, since from now on Dami would be the one who would have to drop of Jihoon and Dami would ask questions. As well as Jihoon. Questions which he wouldn’t be able to answer, not without completely making an ass out of himself and suffering through the probably most embarrassing and traumatic moment of his life of which he probably would never, ever recover from and he would have to change his name and move to Uruguay and adopt a donkey or something – okay he was probably being a tad overdramatic, but that didn’t change the fact that he felt like crawling underneath his bed, giving up his job as a promising lawyer and never come out of his hiding place.

“Jiyong, are you there?”

Damnit. He must have woken up Dami while suffering through his mental breakdown.

“Y-yeah? What is it?”

“Seunghyun is coming over for a second, he said you forgot something and he would bring it over quickly.”, said Dami with a sleepy voice as she shuffled into the living room, wrapped in a blanket. Her eyes were half closed, and her hair was standing up in every direction possible.

WHAT?!

“How does he know where we live?”

“We exchanged numbers today and I told him on the phone-“, yawn, “make sure to keep it down a bit, I’ll go back to sleep.”

And with that, Dami went back into her room upstairs, leaving behind her brother, who was currently freaking out and deciding if he really should get his passport and move to Uruguay or face Seunghyun.

 

The bell rang.

Definitely Uruguay.

 

Jiyong darted to the door, not wanting to let Seunghyun ring another time and possibly waking up Jihoon – that would be the possibly the worst possibility if Jihoon would see them together now. No way.  Whatever. His brain wasn’t working properly right now, as it currently was too busy with pumping adrenaline through his veins and let his heart beat about two hundred times a second.

He placed his hand on the handle, inhaling and exhaling one last time with closed eyes, before opening the door and facing his demise.

Jiyong didn’t dare to move a muscle, nor could he force himself to look at Seunghyun.

“What do you want, Seunghyun?” His voice was small and a bit shaky and he couldn’t force himself to look up from the ground – too embarrassed to look Seunghyun straight in the face. He felt like a blushing virgin who had just confessed to their very first crush and his stomach turned in the most unpleasant ways.

“I forgot something.”

Jiyong finally looked up in confusion. Did he mean his hoodie? Should he go and get it for him?

“Oh, let me quickly go grab your-“, the younger man had already moved back from the door, wanting to go further into the house to grab said hoodie, when he got held back by his wrist and turned around. All he could see was Seunghyun coming closer to him at the speed of light, grabbing him at the back of his head – much like Jiyong had done earlier that day – and pressed their lips together in a heated kiss. Jiyong was so surprised and taken aback by the fact that Seunghyun was kissing him, that he didn’t react at first. Only when Seunghyun bit his lower lip and pulled his lip between his own he finally snapped back, wrapped his arms around Seunghyun’s neck again and stood on his tiptoes to properly return the kiss. Their bodies pressed against one another, much like their tongues, fighting for dominance. Seunghyun’s hand tightened in Jiyong’s hair and he could only whimper, before dropping back – not being able to hold himself any longer, but Seunghyun didn’t seem to care. Quite the contrary – the older man used that opportunity to let his other hand sneak around Jiyong’s waist and pull him closer. One of his legs sneaked between Jiyong’s, making him moan out again as he pressed _just right_ against the growing bulge in his pants.

The younger man’s hands were still wrapped tightly around Seunghyun’s neck, letting his fingers run through his hair frantically as he started to move his hips against his thigh – causing more moans to spill from his mouth. Suddenly, his back hit a solid surface and he absently registered that Seunghyun had moved them inside the house, with Jiyong pinned against the entrance door. His knees were getting weak, especially when Seunghyun pulled back a bit only to trail kisses down his neck, starting to suck the soft, heated skin there while his hands dropped down to his hips – holding them securely. Jiyong couldn’t do much more than helplessly half stand, half hang onto Seunghyun as he pulled him even closer against his neck, nails digging into his neck. His erection was now painfully hard and digging against the strong muscles of Seunghyun’s thigh and if he would continue to be pushed like that, he knew he wouldn’t be able to last.

Seunghyun let go of Jiyong’s hips and let his hands wander, tugging his shirt upwards and letting his fingers caress the soft skin of his stomach. It was as if he suddenly regained consciousness and he abruptly pushed the other man away – his breath coming out unevenly.

“Wait, wait, wait.”, Jiyong panted, “What about your girlfriend?”

“My...girlfriend?” Seungyhun was breathing hard as well, pupils blown wide and his hair a complete mess.

“Oh, please Seunghyun. No need to lie, Jihoon told me about her. He said Yumi was very pretty and really nice and sweet, too – his words not mine.” For some reason, it made him feel even worse. Not only was he kissing – and grinding – onto someone who was already taken but said someone apparently thought of him as stupid.

 Seunghyun continued to look at him, but this time it seemed almost as if he was – holding back a laugh?

“Huh, did he really say that?”

“Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Well, did he mention something else?”

_What was going on?_

“No, that was about it – why?”

Seunghyun suddenly barked out a laugh, which he immediately shut down again and fished out his phone from the back pocket of his pants. The silence between them only made it worse – Jiyong was already a ball of nervous energy as he watched Seunghyun looking through his phone.

What the hell was the other guy thinking? Was this some sort of a prank?

After what seemed like ages, he finally looked up with a pleased smile on his face as he handed his phone to Jiyong, who unwillingly took it and looked at a picture of Seunghyun holding a cute Australian Shepard. The fur was mostly grey, with dark spots, but Jiyong could also see white and brown patches – the eyes had different colours too. One was almost as dark as Seunghyun’s eyes, the other one bright blue.

Jiyong still didn’t understand.

“Seunghyun, why are you showing me the picture of a dog?”

He still grinned widely at him.

Seunghyun bit his lip, trying to hold back that stupid smirk, before finally having mercy on him.

“Jiyong, Yumi is my dog.”

 

_Oh my god._

Jiyong must have really, really, really fucked up in his last life, because karma really must hate him, because he once again felt like someone was sucking all his life energy out of him. All colour seemed to drain from his face, but at the same time he felt the undeniable rush of blood flowing to his face. He could handle one extreme embarrassment a day, sure thing, that was something he might have been able to handle, but two? Definitely not. Jiyong put his head into his hands and slid down the door until he was on the ground. Could he suffer from a heart attack right at this moment and just die? Get hit by lightning? Maybe a seizure? Anything?

He curled himself into an even smaller ball, when he heard the soft laughter of Seunghyun who was now kneeling in front of him and pulling him into a tight hug. Jiyong immediately buried his face in the crook of Seunghyun’s neck, trying to hide his blushing face from his crush.

“You are so adorable, Jiyong.”

God, if his normal voice was sin, his whispered, rough voice was certain death. Jiyong simply shook his head as he clawed his hands into Seunghyun’s chest, not daring to look up at him, but Seunghyun seemed to have a different plan as he carefully hosted Jiyong up until he was standing in front of him.

“I’m such an idiot.”

“That you are, but an _adorable_ one.” Jiyong unwillingly smiled.

“This idiot will kick you out if you call him an idiot again.”

“Very well, but only if I can ask said idiot a question before I get kicked out.”

Jiyong bit his lower lip.

“Sure.”

“Will said idiot go out on a date with me next Friday night?”

Jiyong had to place his hand in front of his mouth to stop himself from smiling so hard he was sure he would look like an idiot – instead he tried to mask it as if he was thinking really hard about Seunghyun’s offer.

“Hmm, where would you want to take that idiot?”

Seunghyun grinned and he knew that _he knew_ that he had him.

“I would love to take you out to a really good restaurant and maybe go to that Warhol exhibition you mentioned last week, Jiyong.”

Scratch masking his smile. Jiyong couldn’t hold back his dopey smile as he looked up at Seunghyun who was smiling just as hard as he was. He knew that if Dami would see them right now, oh boy, he would be that, but she wasn’t so he really didn’t care. Jiyong slowly stepped forward again and placed his hand on Seunghyun’s face, his thumb caressing the soft skin underneath his eye, before he leaned in again into a chaste kiss on the lips.

This time, he forced himself to pull away before the kiss could turn more heated again – but Seunghyun chased his lips with his own and kissed him some more. By the time they finally pulled apart again, they were both breathing heavy and blushing again.

“You are so not fair, Jiyong.” Seunghyun’s voice came out as a whine.

“Huh?” Jiyong furrowed his eyebrows.

“God, you don’t even know what you do to me – do you? Whenever I saw you for the past weeks I just wanted to grab and kiss your ridiculously cute face – do you know how bad it is to be turned on and little kids run around you? That made me feel like the worst creep ever, and I felt like that only because I saw you in the morning. You really cursed my dick, Jiyong.”

A giggle, which sounded awfully close to a snort, escaped him.

“Well, I can only give that compliment back, because you – you handsome devil – certainly cursed my dick, too – and do you have any idea how hard this all was for me since I thought you were straight? Wait, you aren’t straight – are you?”

Instead of answering, Seunghyun pushed Jiyong back against the door and kissed him breathless.

“Does that feel like I am straight to you?” As if trying to make a point, Seunghyun grounded his pelvis against Jiyong’s to make him feel his hard on against his own. Jiyong inhaled sharply.

“No, I think you made yourself clear.” They were only a few millimetres away from one another and Jiyong felt the tickle of Seunghyun’s breath on his heated skin. He could stay like that forever.

But he knew that if they took things further than they had already gone tonight, he would feel as if they were rushing things and he really didn’t want to fuck this up – whatever this was between them, whatever it could be.

“As much as I hate to say this now-“, a playful nip against Seunghyun’s lower lip, “- I really think it would be best for you to go home now. Plus, you don’t want to let Yumi waiting, do you?” Seunghyun jutted out his lower lip and sulked.

“You big meanie.” Seunghyun let his head fall against Jiyong’s shoulder; he could feel him inhaling his scent one more time, before letting go again. “But I guess you are sadly right. I don’t want you to think that sex is the only thing I am after. I want to get to know you, Jiyong – and take you out of cheesy dates, if you let me – oh and remember the emergency I mentioned with Yumi? She is staying with my parents from now on, who live outside of Seoul, she is pretty old already and the countryside is better for her than the big city life.”

“That’s really sweet of you – to let her stay with your parents.”, another short kiss to Seunghyun’s lips,”- and I will and I am already looking forward to our cheesy dates.”

“Are you sure? Maybe I turn into this complete opposite asshole when I am on dates?” – Seunghyun’s teasing personality resurfaced again, causing Jiyong to giggle again – “Maybe I am a serial killer who just wanted to lure you in and drag you off afterwards to my cabin in the woods?”

“ _Oh, god_ – stop it you!”

“Who knows, maybe I’ll even cut you open and sell all your organs on the black marke-“

Before Seunghyun could name any more ridiculous scenarios, Jiyong shut him up with another kiss.

“I really want to go on those dates with you; besides, if you really planned all this just to murder me, then I am highly impressed. Pretending to be the kindergarten teacher of my son for years until I finally make the mistake and drop my son off at the kindergarten, only for me to finally talk to you and fall for your terrible gorilla impressions. That needs _a lot_ of research and planning.”

“Fine, but don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.”

Jiyong hit him playfully against his chest.

“Oh, shush. Ever thought that maybe I am the terrible one? Maybe I have no manners at all or flirt with another man while on a date with you? Maybe I am the one who is a serial killer? Ever thought about that?”

“Well, then I would call you Will and you would have to call me Hannibal and we’d simply murder everyone together – how does that sound?”

Jiyong couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore as he opened the door and started to push Seunghyun out. “Please, stop talking. My sides are already hurting from laughing all the time.”

“Alright, alright. I’m going. Don’t miss me too much while I’m gone.”

“Get home save, and text me when you got there. Okay?”

Seunghyun was already walking through the front yard towards where he had parked his car, only to turn around once more and wriggling his eyebrows at Jiyong. “Okay, daddy.”

Jiyong could only face palm. How could he develop such a huge crush on such a dork? He watched Seunghyun until he safely got inside his car – waved him one last time, before closing the front door behind him.

God, he was so fucked.

 

Fifteen minutes later Jiyong was finally in bed, wearing nothing but boxers and Seunghyun’s oversized hoodie. He felt like a teenager again, but right at this moment he didn’t care at all about it. Especially not when his phone chimed up, signalling him he had a new message.

 

Seunghyun [00:23]

Hey there, arrived at home safely.  
Can’t stop thinking about tonight, sleep well. <3

Jiyong quickly sat up in bed, tried to make his hair look somewhat presentable, before he turned on the lamp on his night stand again and opened the camera on his phone. He had never really send a crush a picture of himself and he suddenly grew uncertain – what if Seunghyun thought this was too childish? Then again, Seunghyun seemed like someone who would enjoy this – seeing how much of a child he still himself was. Jiyong quickly snapped a picture – it was a bit dark, but bright enough for Seunghyun seeing that he was wearing und cuddling the oversized hoodie he had given him, while smiling brightly at the camera.

Jiyong [01:25]

Can’t stop thinking about tonight either, nerd. <3  
Your batman hoodie is really comfortable by the way,  
I am not sure if you will ever get it back, though...  
[picture]

 

Seunghyun [01:26]

Asdsfhjhg. Can’t say I’m complaining,  
looks ten times better on you anyways and  
god, you look so adorable in my clothes... xx

 

Jiyong [01:26]

I look even better out of them (;  
sleep well, talk to you tomorrow xx

 

Seunghyun [01:27]

HJHDDFHK. You _tease_.  
Goodnight, sleep tight xx

 

 

Sunday rolled around, which meant one thing – _family day_.  Even though they had already spent the day before as a family, Sunday was their traditional family day. Many people went to church in the morning as a family, the Kwon’s on the other hand mostly spent it at home preparing breakfast and waiting for grandma Kwon to visit them. Jihoon had immediately jumped off his chair as the front door opened and greeted his grandmother – she had been away for a while now and he had really missed her. Jiyong couldn’t blame him – his mom was the best after all and without her, their traditional Sunday morning breakfast ritual just wasn’t the same. The food alone didn’t taste half as good as it did when their mother prepared it, which Jihoon always made sure to point out _every time_.

Today was much like any other day with the family – Jihoon happily talked about all the things they had seen the day before at the festival, how he got turned into a tiger and all that tasty cotton candy he had eaten and how Mina and he had spent all day with aunty Dami and Hyorin and how much fun it was to play with Jiyong and uncle Youngbae and that even Seunghyun had paid a visit.

Jiyong had only come downstairs when he heard the bell ring – he had stayed up even longer. All the butterflies in his stomach hadn’t helped with falling asleep at all. Plus – as creepy as that maybe sounded – he couldn’t stop inhaling Seunghyun’s scent as he cuddled himself into the soft fabric of his hoodie. His eyelids were heavy, and he knew he looked like he didn’t sleep in three weeks, but he couldn’t care less about it. The everlasting smile on his lips only proofed that.

“Seems like you and Seunghyun had an interesting conversation when he picked something up, didn’t you?”, Dami had sneaked up beside him after Jiyong had shuffled into the kitchen. He was still wearing the hoodie and boxers but had forced himself to at least put on some sweatpants for breakfast.

“Huh? Oh, well yeah.” Jiyong prayed that his voice wouldn’t give him away, but apparently that was not what had made Dami so curious. He turned around, only to see her smirking – wriggling her eyebrows as her eyes roamed the area a little bit lower than his face and pointed towards it with a small, approving nod.

“Nice hickeys, does Seunghyun also have a matching set of them on his throat?”

Fuck.

Jiyong’s hand immediately shot up to the side of his neck where Seungyhun had kissed him last night, nearly as fast as the heat that spread through his body as he blushed in embarrassment. How did he forget about them?! He carefully lensed into the other room, seeing if his mother or Jihoon had noticed him already – he really didn’t want to explain to a five-year-old what hickeys were and why people left them on other people’s bodies and he really didn’t feel like telling his mother about his new crush on a _guy_ over Sunday breakfast.

“Relax, go grab some of my make-up and cover up. I will make sure they won’t notice you.”

Jiyong never ran so fast in his life before.

 

Monday morning arrived, and it was just as stressful as always. Jiyong had another morning in court ahead of himself and he really wasn’t looking forward to it – thankfully, Seunghyun managed to cheer him up.

Seunghyun [09:34]

Good morning, sunshine – you didn’t drop Jihoon  
off today, having second thoughts about our date  
already? :b

 

Jiyong [09:59]

Pabo! I had to be in court at 8 o’clock, no time to  
drop of Jihoon or to stare at your handsome face :(

 

Seunghyun [10:05]

Poor you :( I only had your sister to talk to, too  
and obviously Jihoon, but I think he has a new  
favourite kindergarten teacher, because he ran  
to Daesung without even looking at me.  
Sad Seunghyun sad is. :(

 

Jiyong [10:08]

And I guess tired too, or what happened  
to your language skills Master Yoda? :b

 

Seunghyun [10:23]

No sleep I had. Thought about cute dad I did.  


Jiyong [10:34]

You nerd, stop being cute <3

 

Seunghyun [10:45]

Never!  
But I actually wanted to ask you if you are  
free this Saturday, too? Jihoon mentioned to  
me some time ago that you are an absolute  
disaster in the kitchen – which is why I would  
love to cook for you. Sounds good?

 

Jiyong finally arrived back at his office, dropping down the heavy back and let himself fall back into his chair, immediately looking through his calendar to make sure he was free. He frowned. Damnit. He had completely forgotten about that damn party his colleagues would force him to go to.

“Hyeyoun?”, he had to raise his voice a bit for her to her him.

“Yes?”

“Do you know if that ridiculous office party or whatever you are dragging me to is this Friday or Saturday?” He really hated those parties – their law firm was only one of many branches across the city, which meant that at those office parties all of the employees would be there, only to awkwardly talk to one another for an hour or two before the first few guests started to ex the offered beverages – otherwise you would go insane – which eventually would end with roughly 250 drunk people.

No, thanks. Jiyong had nothing against getting drunk, but he had something against getting drunk with _colleagues_ and even his _boss_.

“If you mean the best office party ever, then yes, that one is this Friday – why? You got a date?”, came the teasing voice of the secretary from the next room.

Jiyong only grumbled a reply, not even loud enough for someone in the same room as him to hear.

 

Jiyong [11:02]

Saturday sounds perfect, there is sadly this  
obnoxious office party I get dragged to  
by Chaerin’s secretary on Friday which I  
totally forgot about so I have to cancel on Friday :((  
I will need some server cheering up on  
Saturday for sure (;  
Just need to make sure I am back home  
early enough on Sunday, because it’s  
family day and it would break Jihoon’s heart  
if I am not there and Dami would whoop my ass.

 

Seunghyun [11:55]

Sounds good to me :)  
I will make sure you are home early enough  
so you don’t get scolded by your mother :b  
Dami seems like she can get really scary..  
Makes me feel like I am back in high school haha

 

Jiyong [12:23]

You dork ~ Need to get back to work now,  
still need to finish some of the reports that  
are piling up on my desk … I will pick Jihoon  
up so, talk to you later? <3

 

Seunghyun [12:45]

Can’t wait <3

 

 

 

It was loud, the air was thick, and he could already smell the alcohol – needless to say that Jiyong really did not want to be here and see how Chaerin went after one of the newest (and youngest) employees, while Hyeyoun chatted with some of her colleagues. Their boss – or whoever was responsible for this mindless drinking night – had booked one of the fancier clubs for the office party. God knows why, it was almost as if Mr. Lee was using all his money just to throw these kinds of parties for his employees. Jiyong sighed as he sat down at the bar, nursing on his Whiskey on the rocks, when someone tapped on his shoulder – it was Hyeyoun, who greeted him with a bright smile on her lips.

“Now, come on – cheer up a bit! You don’t have to get along with everyone here, just spend some time with us and then you can leave after an hour or two, doesn’t that sound like a deal?”

Jiyong wasn’t really impressed, but he nodded slowly – only to get grabbed by the arm and dragged off to god knows where.

“Actually-“, he could barely hear Hyeyoun’s voice – the music was turned up way too high and he felt the floor vibrate through the thin souls of his dress shoes, “- there is someone who would like to see you!”

Oh, no.

Hyeyoun had it made some sort of a life mission to set Jiyong up with someone – the curse of having a nosy sister that just loved to “drop by” at work to bring him lunch. It only took one afternoon of him not being present at the office, duo to another meeting at court, and Hyeyoun and Dami had become _best friends_. Dami apparently had told Hyeyoun that Jiyong hadn’t dated since Jihoon was born, which caused Hyeyoun to start the plotting. More than once had she sneaked his private number to female clients with a wink, telling them to maybe call Jiyong once their case was solved – much to the distress of Jiyong. He had lost count how many times he had needed to explain that _no, he was not looking for someone_ and that _Hyeyoun just loved to play pranks on him_. Sometimes he really would have loved to fire her, but then Chaerin would whoop his ass and then Dami would whoop his ass another time and that certainly was too much of a hassle.

Seems like she once again wanted to hook him up with someone.

“Hyeyoun, please I’m begging you – no more of you trying to find me someone, besides I already have someone I like and-“, Jiyong couldn’t say anymore as he got pushed forward by Hyeyoun and into a broad, firm chest.

“Jiyong-“, he felt his cheeks heat up as he backed away from the person in front of him, only to blush even more when he realized who the man was in front of him. That scent was all too familiar.  
“-meet my younger brother, Seunghyun!” The grin almost immediately spread across his face as Seunghyun stepped closer and extended his arm – he was trying to supress his grin and maintain a straight face much like Jiyong did.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jiyong. My sister has told me a great deal about you.”

Jiyong almost snorted. He had no idea that Hyeyoun had a little brother, let alone that it was Seunghyun. As much of a gossip hound Hyeyoun was from time to time, she guarded her personal live more dearly than anyone she knew.

He shook Seunghyun’s hand.

“The pleasure is mine, I sadly can’t say that Hyeyoun told me a lot about you, but I feel like meeting an old friend already.”

Seungyhun bit his lips, trying to hold back even more – Jiyong feared that they would erupt into laughter any second now.

“Well, then – have fun you two! See you later, Seunghyun!”

And with that, she was gone and as soon as she was out of sight, they both couldn’t hold back anymore and started to laugh – both leaning forward and holding their stomach while they did. Jiyong already felt the tears forming in his eyes and his sides starting to ache and he knew Seunghyun was just as bad as he inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly to stop the laughter, but in the end,  they just needed one glance at one another before the laughter erupted again.

“Okay, okay stop – please! My sides are already aching!”

“You should have seen your face, Jiyong! You were so pissed that my sister was dragging you off to someone and then the look of pure shock when you saw me – I really hope that wasn’t a good thing.”

“No, no believe me – it’s really-“, his laughter finally died down and he stepped a bit closer to Seunghyun, “-really, good to see you. I almost forgot what your face looked like.”

“Impossible, how could you forget a face as handsome as mine?”

“Vain, much?”, he teased.

“No, just trying to impress you like always.”

“You know you don’t have to try that hard right?”

“Yes I do, you deserve it and who knows what if someone better walks by and-“, Jiyong scoffed,

“Do you really think I am someone who would do something like that?”

“You? Absolutely. You are the worst of all of them-“, they were back to teasing each other.

“Oh, really? And what about you? I’m still sure you are secretly a serial killer, who just waits for the right moment to jump me-“

“Well, you aren’t completely wrong with that one-“, Jiyong playfully nudged him in the side.

“Shut up.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest, but his words didn’t hold any true spite in them, they sounded way too soft and affectionate for that.

“By the way, Jiyong?”, Seunghyun’s voice sounded serious suddenly and Jiyong almost thought he had said the wrong thing.

“Yeah?”

 “‘ _I already have someone I like’_?”

Almost.

A wide smile that even made Seunghyun’s eyes soft spread across his face as he stared down at Jiyong, who in return blushed madly at the other man.

“Oh shut up, as if it’s not obvious that I really like you.” Jiyong tried his best to play it cool, but his heart was going crazy at the moment. He really didn’t like admitting it, but he knew that he had already fallen for the other man – might as well let him know. If Seunghyun wasn’t ready for more, he wouldn’t be the right one anyways.

But to his surprise, Seunghyun didn’t say anything – he simply stared down at Jiyong until the moment he grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him through the club, right to the backdoor exit.

“Wait, Seunghyun. Where are you going-?”, the door got closed behind him and he got pushed into a dark side alley. Seunghyun reached out to grab both of his cheeks with his hands, pushing Jiyong back a few steps before kissing him deeply. Jiyong was taken aback by Seunghyun’s bolt movement for a second, before he relaxed into the kiss and grabbed Seunghyun by the collar of his shirt, pulling him down a bit and standing high on his tiptoes to deepen the kiss even more. After what seemed like hours, they finally pulled away from one another – Jiyong’s calves already aching from having to arching up for such a long time.

Jiyong slowly opened his eyes again – seeing Seunghyun already staring at him with soft eyes.

“I really, really like you, too Jiyong. It’s almost scary how fast this all-“, he gestured between them – a blush on his cheeks, god this man was adorable, “-you know. Sorry, I am so bad with words I just want to say that uhm, normally...well I don’t really date much. Never felt the need to be close to someone like that and- urgh this is probably ridiculous, but I just want to tell you that I have never really felt like this about someone before and – is this too soon to tell you that? Because, if yes then I am really sorry for fucking this up and I really hope I didn’t ruin anything between us already-“

Jiyong shut him up with another kiss.

“No, you are not fucking anything up, Seunghyun. Quite the contrary actually, I really like you and you feeling the same way about all of this makes me happy.”

“Oh, thank god. My sister always tells me I never know when to shut up and that I don’t have a filter between my brain and mouth and sometimes just pour anything and everything at people and that that’s why most people think I am annoying and that-“

Jiyong kissed him again, not being able to resist when Seunghyun looked this flustered and adorable.

Seunghyun didn’t seem to mind, either. Instead, he leaned down and kissed Jiyong some more.

 

 

After another heated make out session, Seunghyun’s phone had disturbed them – apparently his sister had been looking for him and Jiyong everywhere. Jiyong almost laughed at Seunghyun as his older sister finally saw them after they walked back to the party and started to scold him. It was an all too familiar thing – whenever Jiyong had been out with friends when he was younger he would get scolded by Dami. He had almost feared his sister’s reaction to him sneaking out more than his mother or even father’s reaction – she was just that scary. But it was good to see and to know that he was not the only one with a scary, big sister – another thing they had in common and it made him smile once again. It was almost weird – he was smiling nearly constantly nowadays, even Dami had seen the change in him. Before, he had only really smiled whenever Jihoon was with him – all the other times the smile wouldn’t reach his eyes. Something he hadn’t even noticed before, but now that he was smiling constantly thanks to the other man, he could really feel the change in his mood. He had been stressed because of work and had a habit of staying too long in the office more often than not, even though he really wanted to have more time with his son. But he really wanted to earn more money, so he could buy everything Jihoon needed, but to achieve that he needed to stay longer and take more cases, which resulted in him having less time with Jihoon. It was a vicious circle.

Seunghyun had somehow managed to loosen up his life a bit by simply talking to him during the morning and evening all those weeks ago and thanks to him he started to slow down a bit. Dami had him told again and again that they had enough money, especially since she got promoted not too long ago, but there was always this voice at the back of his head that told him _what if something happened_? That voice had been getting quieter and quieter for some reason the longer he knew Seunghyun until it had finally disappeared after Jiyong realized that Seunghyun returned his feelings. Or at least his interest, whatever. The point was, Seunghyun was _save_. At least that was what his heart was telling him. Seunghyun was warm, goofy and was excellent at taking care of kids, hell, he took care of Jihoon all day long and got along with him as well – could it get better than that?

Probably not.

He really hoped this would work out between them.

Jiyong finally snapped back from his thoughts as he saw Seunghyun pouting like a child – his sister was still nagging him, and he started to feel sorry for him. After another five minutes of Hyeyoun’s scolding they finally managed to get away from her. They stumbled through the packed club, the music still way too loud around them, until they finally reached the exit. Jiyong had had enough of this party ever since he stepped into it and after Seunghyun’s small confession he really wanted some alone time with the other man, away from his, loveable, but nagging sister.

Without wasting any more time, he dragged Seunghyun to his own car and gestured him to get inside. They closed the doors and Jiyong started the engine.

“You will have to guide me, I have no idea where you live.”

“So, you really want to go to my place?”

Jiyong send a sly smirk at him, before he leaned in close to Seunghyun – lips almost touching the shell of his ear and breath hot on his skin. “Well, I can’t scream out your name with a kid around, now, can I?”

He bit his lip as he continued to stare wantonly at Seunghyun, who in return had sucked in a sharp breath at Jiyong’s ministration. He opened his mouth, ready to tell him where he needed to drive, when suddenly, Jiyong’s phone chimed up.

Damn those things, they always got disturbed whenever things got a bit heated.

“Yes, Dami – what do you want-“

“Jiyong, it’s Jihoon. He had a nightmare and he just won’t stop crying – he said something about seeing you die in his dream and now he is convinced something happened to you, please come home – he is really out of it. I tried everything, but nothing would work and-“

“Dami, Dami! It’s okay – tell him I am on my way, I just need to drop Seunghyun off first, but I will be home as soon as possible.”

“Okay, thank you Jiyong. I will tell him.”

Jiyong sighed when he ended the call, but Seunghyun immediately reached for his hand to cheer him up a bit.

“You’re not mad, are you?”

“Why would I?”

“Because just a minute ago, I was ready to jump you, but-“

“But Jihoon, who is your son _needs_ you right now. Believe me, when I say that I am not mad at all. You are a good dad, which means we have to forgo our little rendezvous for another time. If you are still up for it, we originally planned to meet tomorrow? So whatever you wanted to do, we have loads of time for that. Go home to your kid, he really needs you now.”

Jiyong could only stare at Seunghyun – was he serious right now? Like, actually serious? How could someone be this cute, adorable, hot and then be understandable at the same time? And not get mad when they had been ready to jump into bed the first time and then had to call it off, because his kid was scared? Call him stupid or overly emotional, but Jiyong felt tears swelling up in his eyes.

“Wait, why are you crying? Did I say something wrong? Should I have gotten mad? – no that wouldn’t make sense, why are you crying the-“, shutting Seunghyun’s rambling up with kisses was turning into Jiyong’s favourite thing to do – especially when the older man melted into it and swept his hot tongue along his bottom lip and deepened the kiss just right and made Jiyong’s stomach flutter with tons and tons of butterflies. This was almost getting ridiculous.

“Thank you for understanding.”

“Thank you for not being sick of me, yet. I think you deserve more praise than I do.”

“Seunghyun?”

“Yeah?”

“Please kiss me again.”

They kissed some more until it really was time to drop Seunghyun off. It turned out that, thankfully, Seunghyun only lived about ten minutes away from Jiyong – not that much of a distance after all and Jiyong couldn’t help himself but kiss Seunghyun some more, before he left the car.

“I really should get going now.”

Another kiss.

“Yes you should.”

One more.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

A warm smile.

“ _Tomorrow_.”

Jiyong bit his lower lip, trying to not get too excited about what else Seungyhun was implying and simply kissed him one more time, before ushering him out of his car. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have let go of the other man all night long and he really needed to get home to his son.

 

 

The only problem he had now was that he knew that he and Seunghyun would most likely have sex soon and the fact that Jiyong never had sex with a man before – sure, he knew all about it. Sue him, he was a man and still had needs even though he had a kid, meaning yes, he did score the internet and sometimes watched porn – during his more recent years he had felt his interest shift from women to man more and more and his curiosity about gay sex had grown with it. He knew about how there needs to be prep done first – you couldn’t just put a dick there and expect it not to hurt, which only lead him to another question. Who would bottom? Who would top? From their rather heated first encounter and the short make out sessions he had seen how dominant Seunghyun was – and god, that was a bigger turn on than it should. Jiyong had been so hard he felt like he was ready to cum then and there, but would that mean that Seunghyun was the top? Maybe he liked being the bottom? A small part of him hoped that Seunghyun would be on top, though. After watching gay porn for the very first time, Jiyong had gotten curious about bottoming and if it really felt as good as the bottom in the video made it seem like – it was awkward and more than just a bit embarrassing when he tried it the very first time, but he had to agree; it felt fucking fantastic. When he finally crooked his fingers _just like that_ and finally hit that small bundle of nerves deep inside of him he had to bite down on his pillow not to moan out too loud – he really didn’t want to explain to his son what weird noises were coming from his room late at night.

After that first time, he had got himself some toys and played around with them as well and they made it even better for him – the stretch, the feeling of being filled and how it felt when something was thrusting into him. Jiyong liked being on the receiving end and if he interpreted Seunghyun’s behaviour right that night, he would be the one on his back and the more he had thought about it, the more he couldn’t wait for it to happened. By now he had more than once jacked off to the thought of Seunghyun above him, pinning him down and thrusting inside of him – hell, he had even dreamed about it and it had made him crave it even more.

That didn’t mean that he wasn’t nervous though. He was practically beaming with nervousness when he got up that morning – he felt even worse than before his very first time having sex, because this was _Seunghyun_ and he had the tendency to make his brain mushy and his knees weak by just looking at him so going all the way with that man would probably make him braindead once and for all. The first thing he did was to take a nice long bath – relaxing all his muscles while soaking in his favourite bath bomb for a bit, before starting his beauty routine. Even though he was a busy man, he still took pride in his appearance. He had to look at his best most of the time, especially in court. He couldn’t just let his appearance go like that, but today he wanted to look extraordinary well for Seunghyun – from all angles that is. He silently thanked his past self for having the glorious idea of starting to wax – meaning he didn’t have to take care of _that_ at least. He did use that expensive body lotion to get his skin extra soft, though. Just to be sure.

Afterwards he shaved, put on his favourite perfume, and spend almost two hours picking out and outfit, which nearly made him late for his date with Seunghyun, but he somehow managed to arrive only five minutes late at Seunghyun’s house. He tried to at least pretend to be calm – he really couldn’t convince himself that he was calm anyways, so maybe playing pretend to work?

Seunghyun opened the door – normally he wore rather casual clothes, t-shirt and jeans, something that could get dirty if the kids decided to play with finger-paints, even at the office party he hadn’t really worn anything fancy, just a long sleeved shirt and jeans – but now? Now he was wearing a black button up and slacks that hugged his thighs so well and Jiyong needed a moment to collect himself, especially when he saw that Seunghyun had pushed back his hair. Normally they were a little bit of a mess, bangs hanging down to his eyebrows – now they were neatly coiffed and _fuck_ , Seunghyun looked even better than he already did. He knew he is staring, but he really doesn’t give a damn – let him know that Jiyong is ready to pounce him, he really doesn’t care anymore.

“Wow.”

Jiyong had been so busy with giving Seunghyun a once over that he didn’t even realise that Seunghyun was staring at him as well, when he finally did though, heat spread through his body. Heat and pride. Heat, because Seunghyun’s normally soft expression had turned into something dark, something primal, an expression that made Jiyong want to drop to his knees and just take whatever he had to offer and pride – because he was the one making Seunghyun look like that at him. He couldn’t help smirking up at the taller man, wetting his lips with his tongue and biting down on his lip.

“God, don’t do that.”

“Do what?”, he grinned.

Seunghyun let out a quick laugh – air flowing out of his mouth in a quick huff, while his lips curled up into a smirk, his tongue tracing the upper side of his lip while the smirk continued, even as he slightly shakes his head giving Jiyong another once over.

“May I come inside, or do you plan on staring at me all night?”

Seunghyun didn’t answer, he simply took a step back and let Jiyong inside his house. He hung up his coat on the coat hanger and took off his shoes near the entrance – only to get a slap on the ass from Seunghyun who was still behind him. A yelp, that sounded way too close to a muffled moan, escaped his lips and he immediately stood up straight, turned around and favoured his behind while glaring half-heartedly at the other man. He had expected him to grin at him like most of the time when he did something like that, but instead, his pupils were blown wide – making his eyes appear almost black – and Jiyong inwardly said, screw it all.

He stepped forward, kicking his shoes aside, and grabbed Seunghyun to kiss him on the lips. It was like a wall was finally crumbling down between them – much like when they first kissed. Teeth dug into lips, the filthy sounds of sucking on each other’s lips as they devoured their mouths filled the space between them. Seunghyun placed his hands on Jiyong’s hips, pulling him flush against his body and grinded their hips against one another – it made Jiyong’s head spin and his pants tight. Their kisses were filthy and wet and uncoordinated, but that was exactly what Jiyong wanted. He wanted Seunghyun and he wanted him to lose control as much as he did – his heart was knocking against his ribcage so hard he was sure that Seunghyun must have felt his quick pulse as he licked down his neck and pushed him up against a wall behind them.  
His legs immediately tried to wrap around the man’s waist and Seunghyun complied – he leaned down a bit and hoisted him up, arms around Jiyong’s thighs to hold him close. The position was more open than anything that had ever happened between them and it made Jiyong feel vulnerable, but he decided then and there that he absolutely loved it when Seunghyun manhandled him like that. By the time Seunghyun started to suck bruises into his skin, Jiyong was already a panting mess – his erection digging painfully against his zipper and he rotated his hips forward to get any sort of friction to release the pressure. But it only made things worse; he could feel the heat radiating off of Seunghyun’s body, he could feel the hard press of his erected cock pressing against his own and he knew he needed more. More of Seunghyun, more of his skin against his own.

He wrapped his arms tightly around Seunghyun’s neck, pulling him into another bruising kiss as he continued to move their hips against one another. Seunghyun suddenly grabbed his hair and pulled his head back, exposing the long column of his throat and causing him to moan out – not bothering to muffle the sounds he was making.

This seemed to shift something inside of Seunghyun, because he pressed Jiyong close to him – tightening his grip around his legs and muttering a quick “hold on tight”, before carrying Jiyong to what he assumed was his bedroom. He stopped in front of the door, Jiyong dropping down on his feet – their lips still attached to one another, hands wandering and exploring each other’s bodies. Seunghyun eagerly opened the door and pushed Jiyong backwards, stumbling rather clumsily through the room and-

Jiyong tripped over something on the floor, pulling Seunghyun with him, who let out a rather high shrike for his usual deep voice. One second, they were grinding hard against one another, the next Seunghyun was lying on top of Jiyong, their erections pressing against one another and laughing maniacally at their eagerness. It should have killed the mood, but it really didn’t – they looked at one another and just continued to laugh and something in Jiyong felt at ease at that. Even though they were having a moment not too long ago, they were still able to laugh things like this off – no awkward shuffling, no long pauses filled with tensed silence, but a moment filled with laughter and happiness and it made Jiyong’s heart flutter.

They were still laughing when Seunghyun was pulling him and Jiyong up.

“Okay, I am definitely not that clumsy normally, but you just make me stupid it seems.”

“Oh, please. It was totally my fault, I was the one who tripped-“, Jiyong tried to reassure Seunghyun, “-but now I really wanna know what was trying to stop us from having sex.” He quickly pushed the other man out of the way to see what had caught him by the foot and as soon he saw it he felt himself blush.

“Well, what was it?”

Jiyong really know what to say, so he simply held up the thick, leather cuffs that had been lying on the floor. A thousand thoughts fired through the synapses in his brain at the same time, but he really tried to shut that voice inside of him down, that tried to convince himself that these bondage cuffs were lying around like that, because Seunghyun had recently used them one someone. Someone else than Jiyong – it made his stomach turn and he felt sick.

Seunghyun, on the other hand, seemed shocked and embarrassed? Not guilty, though – that seemed to be a good sign, right?

“So-“, he picked them up, letting them dangle from one of his fingers between them, “you gonna explain why you have these?”

Seunghyung opened his mouth but closed it again. He stared at Jiyong, obviously now knowing what to say and it send a heavy sense of dread through Jiyong’s body – did Seunghyun really have someone else? He suddenly felt close to crying – or throwing up he couldn’t decide, and Seunghyun immediately caught up with that.

“No, no, no! It’s not like what you think it is, I don’t have someone else – I swear!”

Jiyong only nodded, not sure if he should put any credence to it or not.

Seunghyun seemed to panic and he only blushed even harder when he started to speak again.

“Okay, look. This is probably gonna sound weird – and I really hope you don’t hate me for it or think I am some perverted freak, but the truth is – I had a crush on you for a long time now, even before we started to speak.”

Jiyong frowned. What?

Seunghyun sighed.

“I don’t think you remember, but – the first day when you brought Jihoon in to the kindergarten? Well, I saw you back then, but I was too shy to say anything to you, but you left a really big impression on me – to be honest I like to think of it as my gay awakening of some sort? Like, I knew there was the potential for me to fall for a guy, but I just never had felt any real connection or had any interest into someone, but then you just waltzed in like that and I swear my heart skipped a beat.  
I was really hoping that you would come by more often, but then Dami brought Jihoon in all the time and I never got to see you again, but I swore to myself that when I had the chance to see you again, I would talk to you.”

He was blushing so hard by now, Jiyong almost felt sorry for him.

“..but then, why do you have those if you don’t use them?”, he held up the cuffs.

“Well-“, he nervously shifter from one leg to another, “-I had a dream.”

“A dream?”

“Well, you know – a sex dream. About you.”

At that, Jiyong’s mood finally improved again. He had already started smiling when he heard that Seunghyun had already had a thing for him for such a long time, but this was just getting better and better. He nodded at Seunghyun, showing him that he should go on with his story.

“In the dream, I tie you up and do _things_ to you and- do I really need to explain _everything_? It’s just that ever since we started to meet and stuff these dreams happened more often and well, I went out last week to buy a few things, because I was curious about those toys – I even looked up a lot of this on the internet and I just- I still have the receipt-“, he quickly went over to the drawer next to his bed and pulled it out, handing it over to Jiyong, who could only smirk. Seunghyun had bought toys. Sex toys. Because of him. Not because he had someone else – the date on the receipt was from last week and as Jiyong read through all the things Seunghyun had bought, he smirked some more.

Seunghyun seemed to be two seconds away from a nervous breakdown when Jiyong finally opened his mouth.

“You know, I have a confession to make as well.”

He seemingly perked up at that.

“I have some toys at home too, so no, I don’t think you are a pervert for that.”, he placed the receipt on the drawer and walked up to Seunghyun, who still seemed a bit unsure of himself.

“-and ever since _I_ saw you for the first time, I have been thinking about what it would feel like to have you. To have you press me down into the mattress-“, his voice getting low and sweet as he played with the collar of Seunghyun’s shirt, “-what it would feel like to have you manhandle me like you did just a few minutes ago and what it would feel like to have you tie me up.” Jiyong stood on his tip toes again, arching up so he could leave hot kisses at the side of Seunghyun’s neck.  
“I thought about all the things you could do to me and I want all of that.”, he was now starring at him, eyes wide with a hint of mischief in them and Seunghyun snapped.

He surged forward, kissing Jiyong hard and leaving no space for negotiations and it made Jiyong’s toes curl. Seunghyun hoisted him up with ease, only to drop him off on the bed and pressing him down with his full body. His hands eagerly pulling on his shirt, pushing it up until it got caught at his armpits and he immediately started kissing up and down his chest. Jiyong let his fingers run through the neatly coiffed hair, messing it up completely, while the hot breath of Seunghyung danced over his body. His legs spread further as if on their own, but he wasn’t going to complain, not when Seunghyun pressed himself between them and grounded their hips against one another. No trace of the awkward situation they had been just a minute ago was left, instead it got replaced with heated moans and gasps as Seunghyun started to suck on Jiyong’s nipples and bit down _hard_. His head fell onto the mattress, grabbing Seunghyun by the hair to urge him on while he desperately rutted against the growing hardness in his pants.

It seemed only like a moment later when Seunghyun pulled back from his abused, swollen nipples to strip him off his shirt, throwing it somewhere in the room. He really didn’t care about that right now. Instead, his fingers started to hastily unbutton his shirt, but Seunghyun seemed to be even more eager than him to get their naked skin pressed against one another, because he simply took the thin fabric on both of his hands and yanked them apart, buttons flying left and right and he shrugged out of the ruined shirt – it only made Jiyong moan out again when he finally had his hands on the hot skin.

They were kissing again, even more heated than before if that was even possible and a few moments later they were finally naked and Jiyong couldn’t stop his hands from running up and down Seunghyun’s body. He touched his pecs, massaging the thick muscles, his stomach and squeezed his ass, urging him to continue trusting their erections against each other. But Seunghyun leaned back, kneeling above Jiyong and took both of his wrist in his hand, pressing them down on the mattress next to Jiyong’s head.

“Seems like I really have to tie you down, don’t I?”

Jiyong could only moan out loudly at that thought. His body was shaking with excitement as Seunghyun leaned down to where Jiyong had dropped the cuffs, only to resurface above him again and cuffing Jiyong against the bed. He yanked at the cuffs, testing how sturdy they were, but they didn’t let him move much – they only cut into his skin and caused him to shiver.  
_Fuck_ , he thought. He knew he would be interested into things like that, but he had never imagined it would be this good to have Seunghyun tie him up and make him vulnerable like this. Jiyong felt his dick twitching in excitement as Seunghyun stared at him, bound and at his complete mercy. He let his legs fall to the side, opening him up completely and rotating his hips as if making a come hither move with his fingers and it really seemed to pull him in – like an invisible rope that pulled him closer.  His legs wrapped around Seunghyun’s waist as he was close enough, pressing their bodies closer again – he _needed_ Seunghyun, he needed him _now_.

Seungyhun seemed to understand his silent plea. He reached towards his night stand and pulled out a bottle of lube and a condom and Jiyong felt the butterflies in his stomach go off again. He bit his lip nervously, as he eagerly watched the other man lean back and stroke up and down his own cock a few times – god, Jiyong wanted to suck that dick. He was bigger than he had thought and Jiyong almost salivated at the sight of it as Seunghyung rolled the condom down on his aching cock.

“You don’t have to prepare me much-“, his cheeks flaming up in embarrassment once again. “-fucked myself last night and this morning with one of my toys, thinking about you.”

If Seunghyun’s eyes had screamed sex and desire before then he really didn’t know what he should say now, but it was so much deeper than before – he quickly reached for the lube, putting some of it onto his hand and spread it onto his fingers and added some more, before he reached down between Jiyong’s legs and carefully inserted the first finger. Jiyong let his head fall back against the mattress as Seunghyun put in the second finger. It felt so much better than any toy he had ever owned, or his own fingers and he desperately needed more, he needed more of Seunghyun’s fingers or even better yet, his cock. He was about to complain when Seunghyun suddenly curled his fingers and fucked him so good he felt his eyes roll back into his head, trashing from side to said and mewling out his moans. His legs were shaking as Seunghyun abused that spot inside of him over and over again and he felt his skin getting slick with a thin sheen of sweat. Just before he was about to come, Seunghyun pulled back again – and Jiyong whined; he was so close to coming and Seunghyun decided to tease him like that?

“Please.”, his voice was barely a whisper, rough and full of need.

“Please, what?”

“Please, fuck me, oppa.”

Without further do, Seunghyun pulled his fingers out and placed himself between Jiyong’s spread legs – hoisting them up over his shoulders and pressing the tip of his cock into his entrance, teasingly letting the head slip in, before pulling out again and Jiyong wanted to rip his hair out – how could Seunghyun be this cruel?

“How much do you want it?”, his voice was like thick smoke, curling around him – he was breathing it in and it made him high, high on sex and the feelings he had for this man.

His mouth fell open as Seunghyun teasingly let the tip of his cock slip in again.

“Please, I will do anything just-“

Seunghyun tightened his grip on Jiyong’s hips and legs and thrusted inside in one fluid move – Jiyong was empty one second and full to the brim next and he moaned out loudly as Seunghyun started to thrust into him immediately. The whole bed was shaking with the strong thrusting, the headboard nearly hitting the wall and the springs in the mattress protesting with each move and Jiyong just couldn’t stay quiet. Not when Seungyhun seemed to know how to press all his buttons, to angle his hip just right to drag the head of his cock over his prostate, making his toes curl.

His erected cock was bouncing against his own stomach with each thrust, smearing the leaked precum over it and making Jiyong shudder. Alone how his dick was slapping against his contracting muscles in his stomach made him shudder with need, but as his lover continued to fuck him seven ways into the next Sunday, he started to see starts. His body was drawn tight, ribcage expanding and contracting so fast he felt like fainting and he tried to claw at the sheets with his hands to at least have _something_ to hold onto, but the cuffs denied him any freedom, so he could just lie there and take, take, take – each thrust making the most obscene noises of wet skin slapping against wet skin and pushing him further and further towards orgasm. His breath got caught in the back of his throat and he held it there – he didn’t know why but it made the feeling of the approaching orgasm even more intense. He took another deep breath, filling his lungs as much as he could with air, before holding back again – the dizziness only adding to his please and he exhaled after a few seconds again, only to draw air back in the next. This time though, he felt a strong hand pressing against his neck and the sides of his throat – it wasn’t strong enough to cut off any air or blood, but strong enough to let him know he wasn’t in control anymore. Seunghyun’s eyes looked down at him and Jiyong nodded at the silent answer hidden inside his eyes and Seunghyun could only smirk in return, adding the pressure at the sides of his throat, pressing down onto the sensitive skin and cutting off some of the blood flow, making Jiyong’s head spin in the most pleasant ways. He let go again after a few seconds, only to add the pressure again, making sure not to press against the windpipe or trachea, but the blood vessels on each side of Jiyong’s neck.

This seemed to be enough for Jiyong to finally reach his high – his head snapped back, throat bared and his back curving so hard he was pushing himself off the bed. His cock started to twitch again and again as the seconds went by and his orgasm finally rolled through his body and he came wave after wave, thick cum spurting out of him and covering his chest and bit of his throat with it. He went completely limp after that, his muscles finally letting go of all of that tension he had held within – the only muscles that still clamped down tight were the ones wrapped around Seunghyun’s dick who was still thrusting into him and making him shiver in overstimulation. The never-ending rhythm of contraction and expansion of Jiyong’s muscles caused Seunghyun to falter in his movement, deep moans left his mouth as he fucked Jiyong through his own orgasm, milking him dry while still dragging the head of his cock over Jiyong’s most sensitive part – Jiyong couldn’t hold back the pathetic whimpers and whines as the overstimulation caused his muscles to twitch and as Seunghyun finally stopped moving, even his abdominal muscles were twitching.

Seunghyun carefully pulled out of Jiyong – tying up the condom and throwing it into the nearest trashcan next to the bed before he opened the handcuffs and mopped up Jiyong as well. Jiyong’s arms where still placed at the sides of his head – his body too much like jelly right to even entertain the thought of moving any muscles in it. He felt an ache in every muscle, but it felt so fucking good – he had never felt this properly fucked before and his head was still spinning as he felt strong hands taking his wrists carefully, freeing them from the cuffs and pulling them down, massaging his knuckles and wrists carefully with some sort of lotion – at least Jiyong thought that it could be that, his eyes were closed while he still enjoyed the afterglow.

“Wow.”, his voice was raspy and dry, but he really didn’t care right now. All he wanted was for Seunghyun, who chuckled lightly at Jiyong’s overly eloquent statement.

“It seems you enjoyed _our first time_?”, it really didn’t fit the mood, especially after the mind-blowing, kinky sex they just had, but Jiyong couldn’t help to melt at how Seunghyun had empathized the worse ‘our first time’ – it made Jiyong giggle and he finally opened his eyes, looking at Seunghyun who was right next to him, still massaging his wrists and knuckles.

“It was perfect.”

“You are perfect.”, another giggle broke from Jiyong’s lips.

“-and you are trying too hard, you already have me in your bed, Choi.”

He scooted closer and placed a warm kiss on his forehead.

“Not trying anything, I am just being honest.”

 

 

While they had originally planned to have dinner before anything could happen and maybe even a glass of wine, _before_ they jump each other – life seemed to have had a different plan for them, which was why they simply decided to cook together afterwards. Well, Seunghyun ended up doing most of the cooking – not that he minded – while Jiyong continued to watch him eagerly.  
They had eaten in a pleasant silence – their cheeks still a rosy red, their feet knocking against each other in a playful banter under the table and with Jiyong teasingly dragging his own foot up and down at the inside of Seunghyun’s legs. It was just teasing though, no real heat behind it at that moment – his legs still felt a bit like jelly and he felt bone tired. Seunghyun wasn’t feeling much better as it seemed, they finished their dinner and retreated back to the bedroom – cuddling up in bed with Jiyong using Seunghyun as makeshift pillow while Seunghyun played with his hair until the both of them fell asleep.

 

 

Jiyong was the first one to awake from their slumber – it was almost still dark outside, which meant that it was far too early for him to get up on a Sunday morning, but he really needed to use the bathroom. Unwillingly, he carefully manoeuvred himself out of Seunghyun’s tight embrace and quickly went to the bathroom. He silently closed the door behind him, quickly emptied his bladder and washed his hands in the sink. It was only then that he took a look in the mirror – his hair was a complete mess, it was sticking up into every direction possible, while one side was completely pressed down, the other one stood up. He even had imprints of the pillow on his cheek and he had to laugh silently. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept this peacefully. His eyes wandered from his hair and face to his neck and he grinned when he saw another slew of lovebites forming on the side of his neck and on his chest. He really liked seeing them on his own skin – it showed him how much he was being wanted, but he would have to cover them up eventually again.

He tiptoed back into the bedroom and stopped in front of the bed for a short moment. Seunghyun was still fast asleep, but he had moved around while Jiyong was away – causing the blanket to completely slip from his body and leaving him completely exposed to Jiyong’s eyes. Last night they had been so eager to get their hands on each other he hadn’t really had the time to appreciate the view – but now he did. He carefully sat down not to wake the sleeping man and took a closer look. Even when completely relaxed, he could still see the strong lines of Seunghyun’s muscles in his chest and abdomen. His cock was soft right now and nestled between his thighs and his strong legs were spread out, much like his arms – he was almost taking up the most of his bed and Jiyong had to laugh affectionately at him. He moved a bit closer, carefully pushing the strands of hair that were hanging into his face aside and smiled when Seunghyun stirred in his sleep. Jiyong leaned down again and placed a soft kiss on Seunghyun’s cheek – he was just too cute for his own good, but this seemed to wake Seunghyun from his sleep and within a few seconds and one loud squeal that ended in a laugh, Jiyong ended up on his back again with Seunghyun holding him down.

“Good morning, beautiful.”, Seunghyun smirked.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.”, teased Jiyong.

But that was as far as their conversation went – Jiyong leaned up slightly, just enough to take Seunghyun’s lips between his own and drag him down until they were kissing again. A pleased sigh left Jiyong’s lips as Seunghyun let his body press down on his own. He realised quickly, that there were only a handful of things better than the weight of Seunghyun pressing down on him, but today Jiyong felt playful – as Seunghyun was getting lost in the kiss, Jiyong used that moment of weakness to push him back on his back with him towering above him. Seunghyun looked really confused and surprised for a second before he started to laugh and kissed him once more. This time, his hands started to wander up and down Jiyong’s slender body – tracing all the faint lines of his muscles and drawing patterns into his skin until his hand eventually grabbed his butt and squeezed, causing a low moan to slip from Jiyong. He pulled back from the kiss and looked at Seunghyun, he was still sleepy but having Seunghyun touch him felt even better than sleep ever could, especially when he slipped a finger between his cheeks and started to massage his passage.

“I wasn’t too rough with you last night, was I?”, Seunghyun’s voice was still thick from sleep and Jiyong decided that he had yet another thing he really liked regarding Seunghyun.

“No, I already told you; it was perfect.”

Jiyong leaned forward again, kissing Seunghyun with a new-found passion on his mouth. It was slower than their kisses from last night, but by no mean less meaningful and filled with need.

“Jiyong, I want you to lie on your stomach for a bit, please.” – his voice was soft now, and Jiyong couldn’t do more, but to follow – curious about what Seunghyun had planned. He curled his arms under his chest and made himself comfortable, his eyes now finally roaming the room to take in his surroundings properly. He was about to take a closer look, when he felt Seunghyun’s strong hands on his body again and he felt himself melt into the soft bed underneath him, forgetting about everything else around him besides Seunghyun. He started to work out some of the kinks in Jiyong’s neck and back, graduatingly making his way down his back until he reached the soft skin of his ass. He started to massage him, squeezing him until Jiyong started to push back against his hand – the first sparks of pleasure drumming through his veins. He pressed his pelvis against the sheet, chasing after the bit of pleasure that started to bloom inside of him when all of a sudden, Seunghyun started to spread his cheeks. Jiyong had to grin – another round this early and this time doggy style? This man certainly knew what Jiyong wanted – but instead of slicked up fingers he felt something hot and wet at his entrance, carefully stroking his tender flesh there in up and down movements and Jiyong inhaled a sharp breath, fingers clawing at the bedsheets.

“Seunghyun!”

Sure, he had read a lot about this and saw porn where people did this, but he would have never thought that someone – Seunghyun – would be interested in it. It seemed like something that was really intimate and something you only do if you really trust someone? He couldn’t get past that thought, because his brain started to shut down as Seunghyun licked some more at his already twitching hole.

“Should I stop?”

“Don’t you dare!” – Jiyong was already panting from the small ministration his hips thrusting helplessly against the sheet, while continuously seeking out Seunghyun’s tongue. He could even feel the smirk when Seunghyun dived in again, ranking his tongue up and down – differing in speed and pattern and not too long into it, he grabbed both cheeks even harder and pushed his tongue inside. Jiyong felt as if he would black out for a second as Seunghyun continued to thrust his tongue into him again and again – god damnit he could even feel the pleasure in his god damn _toes_. He was a moaning mess only after a short time and his moans only grew louder as Seunghyun held his hand up high and spanked him. It was a complete different sensation than getting choked, but the slight sting he felt did things to him – sure it hurt, but once the hurt was gone, pleasure took its place and spread through his body, making his dick throb with need and he got even harder the more he got spanked.

His orgasm took him by surprise, all the sensations came together and wrecked his body completely. The soft feeling of Seunghyun’s tongue, the hard sting he felt whenever he got spanked and the added pressure on his dick – it was enough to send him over the edge, screaming out Seunghyun’s name.

He felt Seunghyun kissing his way up his back – he was still panting harshly as he felt soft lips on his forehead and he got turned around, greeted by a smirking Seunghyun.

“Good morning, once again.”

Jiyong giggled and pushed a pillow in his face.

 

 

Since it was Sunday after all, Jiyong needed to get home early to not miss the planned family day with Dami, Jihoon and his mom. He had already texted Dami that he would come home before breakfast, but that he wouldn’t eat anything, since Seunghyun had already prepared pancakes and coffee for him once he had been strong enough to stumble out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.

Leaving Seunghyun that morning, was even harder than the time before that – all he wanted to do was curl up in the other man’s arms and spend a lazy day in bed watching movies, but he really couldn’t neglect his role as a father and he really wanted to spend some quality time with him.

After another make out session that lasted longer than either of them had planned, Jiyong finally managed to leave the apartment and drive to his own house, where Jihoon was already waiting for him. Jiyong was glad that he had decided to put a light scarf into his back before he had left – he quickly covered up his hickeys before going inside and getting jumped by an overly excited Jihoon. Jiyong had quickly run off to the bathroom and made sure to cover the lovebites up properly – it was too hot for even such a thin scarf today.

A few hours later, Jiyong and Dami’s mom paid them a visit – she even brought some of her infamous kimchi with her, which all three of them wolfed down eagerly. For the afternoon they had planned to go to the local cinema – there was a Disney festival of some sort, people dressed up as princes and princesses and they showed Disney movies all afternoon long. Jiyong had always had a weak spot for Disney movies, so it was only natural that they would go. They arrived about half an hour before the first movie started and queued up – Mrs. Kwon had decided to stay behind and take a rest, since he was feeling a bit unwell that day, but had wished them lots of fun at their movie marathon.

“Which one is the first one?”, Jihoon was holding onto Jiyong’s much bigger hand and had the other one wrapped around his leg. For someone as enthusiastic as Jihoon, he was still a shy boy by nature and most of the time needed a long time to open up to someone, but ever since he spends more and more time in kindergarten with kids his age, he had finally started to open up a bit more. The shyness, however, remained. Jiyong looked at the folder he had grabbed at the box office and scanned through the titles.

“Seems like they start with ‘ _The Fox and the Hound’_ and then we can choose between _‘The Rescuers’_ and _‘The Aristocats’_ – sounds good to me, what do you think, Jihoon?”, Jiyong had only let go of Jihoon’s hand for one second to unfold the folder, but apparently it was long enough for Jihoon to wander off on his own. Dami, in the meantime, had grabbed some snacks for them and a cold sense of dread run through his body. _Where was Jihoon? Did he got kidnapped by some sick psycho?_

A thousand different scenarios flashed before him as he started to completely fall for his panic and ran through the cinema.

“Jihoon? Munchkin, where are you?”, his loud voice rang through the crowded halls, but he couldn’t find Jihoon anywhere – did he really got kidnapped?

Jiyong was close to tears now, as suddenly a few meters away from him Jihoon’s head peaked over the sea of people. He immediately pushed through the crowd, not really caring to look out, but his mind only set on getting to his son as soon as possible – he pushed himself through the last people in front of him and –

Came face to face with a smiling Seunghyun, who had and even wider smiling Jihoon sitting on top of his shoulders. He didn’t know if he should smile at them, laugh at this own stupidity, or cry in relief, but right now he was just happy that Jihoon was okay. Seunghyun carefully sat the young boy down on the ground and Jiyong immediately hugged him tightly.

“Daaad, stop it you are squeezing me, and you are being embarrassing!”, but instead of letting go, he only hugged him even tighter and only let him go after calming down enough.

“What did I tell you about running off like that, young man?”

Jiyong was so frustrated right now, but he really needed to teach Jihoon a lesson, he couldn’t just run off like that, especially not in big places like this and he needed Jihoon to understand that.

“I-I thought you saw Seunghyun, too. I just wanted to say hello to him-“

“Jihoon, if you ever see someone you know or want to go somewhere, please you need to tell me, okay? Always make sure that I either go with you or see you with them – you never know what can happen, okay? I just want you to be save.”

Jihoon was now seemingly upset. He looked down at the ground and kicked his legs against the floor.

“I’m sorry, Dad.”

Jiyong sighed and pulled him into another hug.

“It’s okay just tell me whenever you go somewhere – deal?”

“Deal.”

Seunghyun had stood next to them all this time and had watched their little father-son moment. Only when Jiyong let go of Jihoon and held his hand tightly, he really realized that Seunghyun was with them – the thick fog of fear finally gone.

“As soon as I saw Jihoon walking towards me alone, I put him on my shoulders and started to look for you – I would have called you, but my phone is dead. I’m sorry.”

Jiyong smiled fondly.

“No, it’s okay – thank you for taking care of Jihoon, though.”

“Seunghyun! Can I sit on your shoulders again?”, Jihoon was now standing between them, looking up at Seunghyun with big pleading eyes and Seunghyun just sighed – Jiyong on the other hand laughed at him. Seunghyun was just as bad at refusing Jihoon anything when he used his puppy eyes on him as Jiyong was and laughed even more when he hoisted Jihoon up on his shoulders and held onto his legs, making sure the little one wasn’t going to slip off. Jiyong immediately fished out his phone and snapped a picture of the two – Seunghyun grinning at the camera and Jihoon who was happily messing up Seunghyun’s hair. Jiyong bit his lip and just couldn’t stop smiling.

“Hey, Seunghyun? Are you here to watch the Disney movies, too?”

At Jihoon’s question, Seunghyun started to blush again. He was totally exposed, and it send Jiyong into another fit of giggles.

“Hey, to my defence – Disney movies are awesome, okay?”, but Jiyong simply waved his hand, not really caring about what the other man was using as an excuse to go see Disney movies. He found it quite adorable actually.

“Can we finally go now?”

This time, both of them laughed.

“Sure thing, let’s just grab Aunty Dami first.”

 

 

While Jiyong had totally bawled his eyes out at ‘ _The Fox and the Hound’_ when the old granny had to drop off the little fox – who didn’t even understand why he was being cast out like that from home, he was positively surprised by Seunghyun – who was also crying but trying to be as casual about it as possible. But Jiyong didn’t let that happen – he more often than not poked Seunghyun’s cheek and teased him about the fact that he was crying. Seunghyun only jutted out his lower lip and sulked but laughed at Jiyong whenever he would tear up.

Even Dami couldn’t hold back the tears and complained about Disney movies being too cruel for young kids like Jihoon, but Jihoon – who was a young kid, thank you very much Dami – disagreed and told them that he doesn’t understand why everyone was crying.

Afterwards, they watched ‘ _The Rescuers_ ’ and Jiyong had to hold onto Seunghyun’s hand when the little girl had to go down that dark grotto to get that god damn diamond for that evil, old lady.

 

 

“-and then those crocodiles tried to attack them! But they were too fast and too small for them and just ran away and they found the little girl there and she had to do all those weird things for that evil, old lady and-“, Jiyong couldn’t hold back a snort as he watched Jihoon tell Dami – who had also seen the movie – everything about said movie. It was both endearing and hilarious.

They had decided to all take a short walk through one of the parks near the cinema – spending all day sitting and eating snacks just wasn’t healthy and Jihoon needed to work off some of that sugar again, he was way too hyped up right now. He was basically jumping around the three adults and it didn’t seem like he was stopping anytime soon. Dami looked like she was desperately thinking about a way to make him as tired as soon as possible, but didn’t seem to be able to come up with anything.

Good thing that Jiyong was good at thinking things like that up.

“Hey, Jihoon! How about Aunty Dami races you to the playground you like so much in this park? You know the one near the big, old oak?”

“Yes!”

“Wait, Jiyong. What do-!”

“1…..2…..3!!”, and with that Jihoon started to sprint down the path and Dami had no other choice but to chase after her little nephew who was already a few meters away from her.

“You will pay for this Jiyong!”, was all she was able to scream at her little brother, before he ran after him. Jiyong didn’t really care much about it though, he knew Dami loved spending time with her nephew and he knew that secretly, deep down she really didn’t care that she had to run after him like that. A few more seconds and Jiyong and Seunghyun were alone – and Jiyong felt suddenly way hotter than he had before, his cheeks already burning as he looked to Seunghyun who was walking next to him. 

Jiyong couldn’t help but walk just that bit closer to Seunghyun and let their shoulders bump into each other and the back of their hands sliding against one another – this continued until Seunghyun had seemingly enough of their little game, took Jiyong’s hand in his own and turned him towards him. Their foreheads were pressed against one another and as soon as Jiyong laid his eyes on Seunghyun’s he smiled so bright he was afraid he might actually be brain dead or something.

“Hey there.”

“Hey there yourself, handsome.”, this time it was Seunghyun’s turn to giggle and Jiyong couldn’t help himself but to lean forward and kiss him. The warm summer wind was blowing around them, tickling their skin as soft as kisses. Jiyong inhaled deeply as he leaned into the kiss – it smelled like Seunghyun and a little bit of the yellow flowers that were planted right and left of the road and Jiyong felt like he was flying. Seunghyun’s warm hands caressed his cheeks and he held onto the soft material of the other man’s shirt as their kisses continued. This time around they were sweet and slow, fitting for a day like that and Jiyong didn’t know what else he could want in his life right now.

 

“Come on, let’s go find the other two.”

 

 

As the weeks go by, he and Seunghyun fell into a comfortable pattern. He tried to drop Jihoon off as often as possible and to pick him up whenever he can – that way he and Seunghyun can see each other at least daily, even if it is just for a short amount of time. Friday night, to be more precise, as soon as Jiyong is allowed to go home on Friday, he rushes home, takes a quick shower and rushes to Seunghyun’s place as soon as he can. Jihoon most of the time stays with his grandparents on Friday nights anyways. Saturday morning is mostly spent in bed, relaxing after a long night and with Seunghyun bringing breakfast to bed. Jiyong sometimes even stays over until Sunday morning, only to get up extra early not to miss their family day. Mainly because Jiyong wants to spent his weekend not only with Jihoon but with Seunghyun as well, he doesn’t stay until late at night at the law firm anymore – this way he can meet up with Seunghyun for a short while and spend the rest of the afternoon until dinner with his son – playing with him and his Legos, going to the Zoo, or whatever else comes to mind. Jiyong feels how much better he is doing lately thanks to these small changes in his life – sure he does earn less than before, but the difference is not as much as he had feared. It’s actually still a lot more than he had anticipated, and he doesn’t feel bad about working less anymore like he would have all those weeks ago. Instead, he is grateful for the extra free time he has with Jihoon and Dami but was well as with Seunghyun.

Though the first few weeks they rarely make it out of bed – too eager to try new things, too eager to get their hands on their naked skin and Jiyong is happy. After a while, they actually manage to go out once or twice during the weekends – visiting art galleries, going to the movies, eating out at fancy restaurants or watch theatre plays – sometimes they even meet up with a few of Seunghyun’s friends. Some are colleagues who also work at the kindergarten, some have a complete different profession, but have been close to him for a long time and Jiyong really enjoys his time with them.

One time they even ended up going to a concert – it had been a last-minute decision. Jiyong had looked through Seunghyun’s CD collection and had been surprised to find quite a few of Nine Inch Nails CDs – by the end of a very heated discussion about whether ‘ _Discipline’_ or ‘ _Closer’_ was the sex song (and a heated round on the couch, which ended with Jiyong getting manhandled around, spanked and pulled by his hair) they still hadn’t come up with a conclusion, but decided to go to the concert which would be in two weeks from then on. Ever since that, Seunghyun always got hard when listening to those songs – much to the pleasure of Jiyong who had started to use ‘ _Discipline’_ as his alarm clock, which most of the time meant another round of kinky sex when Jiyong had to get ready to leave on Sunday mornings.

Time went by and Jiyong is happy, really fucking happy – but he knows there is something that is bothering Seunghyun and he already has a vague idea what it could be, but he doesn’t say anything. Mainly, because he doesn’t know how he would react, so he silently hopes that Seunghyun won’t mention it.

The only problem is, that one day – he does.

It was another Friday night – they had just gotten home from an art exhibition both had been wanting to see for a long time and now they finally had the opportunity. Seunghyun opened the door to his apartment and Jiyong stripped off his coat and shoes by the door before letting himself drop down on the couch in the living room. Jiyong knows something is up as soon as Seunghyun doesn’t join him on the couch with two glasses of wine but walks past him onto the balcony with only one glass – not bothering to look at Jiyong.

Jiyong doesn’t really want to talk about the thing he knows must be bothering Seunghyun, but he can’t let him sulk like that alone on the balcony as well, which is why he sneaks up on him and curls his arms around his waist from behind and presses his face against his broad shoulders. He feels Seunghyun slowly caressing his hands with his own, but he still seems like he is far away – thinking about something that has been eating him up for a while now.

Seunghyun sighs and loses Jiyong’s grip around his waist and Jiyong knows that now it’s time to talk – the only problem is that he doesn’t feel ready to talk about it yet, but he can’t really say that to Seunghyun, can he?

“Jiyong, there is something I wanted to ask you.”

He gulps.

“I am not sure if I am imagining this, but is there a reason why we never are at your place? Or that we never show any kind of affection when Jihoon is around?”

Jiyong tenses up immediately and let’s go of Seunghyun.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. You see him all the time and he likes you, what else do you want?” – expect he knows what Seunghyun is asking. _Are you hiding this relationship from your son? Are you ashamed of dating a man? Why have I not yet met any of your friends? Am I a dirty little secret to you?_

Seunghyun sighs. “You know that this is not what I am trying to say.”

“Oh, well then what exactly are you saying, Seunghyun?”, Jiyong snaps at him – the problem with Jiyong was as soon as he felt like he was being cornered he freaked out. It was also the reason why he had always dodged the metaphorical bullet whenever Seunghyun wanted to put a label on the two of them. Were they dating? Were they boyfriends? Were they just fuck buddies? Friendship plus? It wasn’t like Jiyong wasn’t completely gone for Seunghyun – the problem was that it still scared the ever-loving shit out of him. Ever since his last relationship, he had tried his best not to get close to anyone – this way he was able to protect himself from getting hurt again, be it the abuse or the fact that she just left little Jihoon like that. More than just once Jihoon had asked why he didn’t have a mommy, since everyone else had a mommy and the other kids even were so cruel to tease him about the fact that he grew up without a mother by his side.

Jiyong still had this paranoia that Seunghyun would get up one day and just leave and he couldn’t let Jihoon get attached to him like that. He couldn’t expose him to another potential parental figure that would just get up and leave him alone again and he would do his best to protect his son from getting hurt.

“Are you saying that I am not doing enough for you? Is going on all those dates for you not enough? Taking your cock whenever you want to-“

“Jiyong, please don’t say that – you know I didn’t mean it like that-“

“Obviously you do! Have you found someone else that suits your taste more or am I simply not enough for you anymore!”, Jiyong was almost burning with fury – he continued to shout at Seunghyun, too scared to admit his mistakes, too scared to admit his own weakness and vulnerability.

“You know what, I’ll just go home now. Goodbye, Seunghyun.”

“Jiyong, wait-“, but he was already out of the door, leaving behind a broken Seunghyun.

 

 

When he got home that night he didn’t take a look around the flat to see if someone was home but went straight to bed and cried his eyes out. As soon as he had walked out of the door he had regretted every single word he had said to Seunghyun. Why was he behaving that way? Did he really try to sabotage Seunghyun like that? To test if he would still want him even if he treated him like that? He knew it wasn’t fair and he knew he was behaving in the same toxic way his ex had and it made him sick to the stomach, he cried his eyes out until he finally fell asleep – eyes swollen and totally exhausted.

He felt even worse the next morning when he saw all the text messages and missed calls he had from Seunghyun – each and every single one of them felt like a stab in the heart, because Seunghyun wasn’t angry with him. Instead, he continuously had asked if there was something he did wrong, if there was something he could do or if something had happened to make him react like that. Jiyong felt disgusted by his own behaviour and even though he couldn’t come clean with Seunghyun right at that moment, he at least wanted to let him know that he was sorry.

 

 

Jiyong [08:12]

I’m sorry for how I reacted last night,  
can you come over tomorrow around four  
and we talk? xx  
  
Seunghyun [08:12]

Of course, is there anything else I can do?

 

Jiyong [08:13]

Just be there tomorrow, there are a few  
things I want to explain. xx

 

 

Jiyong is so nervous the whole time that he asks his mother if it would be okay if Jihoon and Dami could spend the day at her place – Jihoon is obviously protesting about the fact that his Dad won’t be there, but Dami is quick to lure him in with the fact that they can finally watch ‘ _Lord of the Rings’_ now that Jiyong isn’t there. This seems to break the deal and all of a sudden Jihoon is very eager to leave.

Jiyong barely slept that night and he has dark bags under his eyes. He tries to figure out how he should tell Seunghyun about his fears, about everything but it just makes it worse, because he has no idea how he should tell him about his abusive ex and all that – Jiyong ends up taking a cold shower.

Three o’clock is rolling around and his nerves are up through the roof – he sits down on the balcony and smokes one cigarette after another, looking at his watch ever five seconds and by the time four o’clock rolls around he has smoked a whole package.

The doorbell rings and his heart is pounding so loud he feels like he might black out every moment. He opens the door, fast – like ripping off a band aid, and nearly cries when he sees Seunghyun, standing in front of him with a big bouquet of flowers. He is so confused for a second that he doesn’t react at all.

“What- what are those?”

“Trollius superbus.”

That doesn’t really make it less confusing for Jiyong and Seunghyun has to chuckle at his expression.

“Remember when we accidentally met at the cinema two or so months ago? When you made Dami chase after Jihoon, because he wouldn’t shut up about ‘ _The Rescuers’_?”

Jiyong nodded and suddenly the memories came flooding back to him.

“The flowers are..”

“-the same as the ones that grow in the park, yes.” Seunghyun looks at Jiyong for a moment, before he continues to speak again.

“The thing is, whenever I see those flowers, I think of you – you know? And I thought, since we more or less just had our first fight, I thought it would be a good idea to get you something that reminds you of good times as much as they remind me of them and that we should work through this to make sure we will have those good moments between us again soon.”

That was the final straw for Jiyong. Tears were spilling from his eyes and he jumped forward, hugging Seunghyun tightly while he sobbed into his shirt. How could he ever possibly think that this man would ever hurt him or Jihoon like his ex had hurt them? This man was radiating everything soft and sweet and would never intentionally do something to hurt either of them – Seunghyun wrapped his arms around Jiyong, holding him close to his chest and buried his face against the side of his head and neck. Jiyong felt himself relax immediately, there was no need to be scared – Seunghyun wouldn’t leave and he would never judge Jiyong for his past, he knew that now.

“Come on, let’s go inside.”, Jiyong said as he carefully took the bouquet in one hand and took Seunghyun’s hand in the other one – once inside he quickly put the flowers in a vase and gestured the other man to sit down. When he finally sat down next to Seunghyun, he felt some of the nervousness resurface, but not because of the fact that he was scared of Seunghyun’s reaction – it was more about the fact that he would have to go through those painful memories again, but Seunghyun turned out to be nothing but patient with him. He didn’t force any words out of him, he only took his hand in his own, sometimes carefully rubbing his back in a soothing manner as he listened to what Jiyong had to tell him and Jiyong could see how much it affected him as well.

He had never thought about it like that – about the possibility that what he had gone through would hurt Seunghyun as well and he was close to stop explaining everything, but Seunghyun only held onto his hand, saying that he wanted to know everything about Jiyong – which also meant his dark days and that he wouldn’t let him go, because of any of it.

Jiyong ended up crying more than he had anticipated – ever since his ex had walked away from him like that, he had never really talked to anyone about it. He had built those walls around him and now it hurt to tear them down, but after everything was said and done, Jiyong felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders and it helped that Seunghyun was there holding him in his strong arms like he was the most precious thing on this planet.

Something that surprised him, too, was as Seunghyun asked if it was okay for him to share something personal like that as well – Jiyong nodded. They had been seeing each other for quite some time now and obviously had talked about their past as well, but never as in depth as they were now, and it made Jiyong realise that they had yet made another step in their relationship.

When Seunghyun started to talk about his past, Jiyong suddenly all too well understood what Seunghyun had meant when he had said that he wanted to know everything about him – even the dark days.

Seunghyun started to speak about his own personal experience with domestic violence – though he had never been in an abusive relationship like that, it had been his father who had beaten him and his mother when he was little. He talked about all the awful things he had experienced during that time, about how his father was part of the military and how treated him more like a soldier than a son. He also talked about the day when his father just stood up, beat him and his mother one last time and never came back again – Jiyong suddenly saw why Seunghyun was so sure about the fact that he would never leave just like that. He knew all too well himself, what it felt like to be left alone like that and that he knew all too well, too how scary things like relationships can be when you have had such shitty experiences throughout your whole life.

At the end of their talk, both had cried a lot and they were drained – not tired, but drained. Especially mentally, but he Jiyong saw how much more relaxed Seunghyun was now. How it was suddenly easier for him to embrace Jiyong and hold him close.

 

 

It was shortly before half past seven and Jiyong knew that his mother, Dami and Jihoon would be home soon. He hadn’t been too sure about it, but now after the conversation he had with Seunghyun he had made a decision. He cuddled closer against Seunghyun and finally spoke up after the comfortable silence that had spread between them.

“Seunghyun?”

“Yeah?”

He heard his heart beating fast and Jiyong bit his lip, trying to hold back the smile.

“Would you like to stay for dinner? My mom, Dami and Jihoon are coming back home any moment now and I know they haven’t eaten dinner yet, because I asked them to wait until they come back here. Would you want to join us?”

Seunghyun suddenly sat up straight and stared down at Jiyong as if he had just told him his birthday and Christmas would be on the same day this year, like a little child seeing a bright Christmas tree for the very first time with loads and loads of presents underneath.

“Are yo- are you completely sure?!”

A giggle broke from Jiyong’s lips, he couldn’t believe how cute this man sometimes was.

“Yes, Seunghyun – absolutely.” Right at the moment he said that, the front door was being pushed open and Jihoon ran inside – tackling Jiyong back into the sofa.

“Aunty Dami, look! Seunghyun is here! Grandma! Grandma! Seunghyun!”, the little boy jumped on the couch between the two adults – Seunghyun who was watching Jihoon and still looked like he was about to cry from happiness and Jiyong – felt like melting on the inside as Jihoon jumped into Seunghyun’s arms and started to wrestle him into the couch as well.

Dinner that night was a bit tighter than usually, but Mama Kwon made sure everyone had enough space and enough food on the plate. She was almost immediately found of Seunghyun, who seemed to really love the sweets she and Jihoon had baked that day. She even had the nerve to grin at the couple when she caught Jiyong sneaking a kiss when he thought no one was watching – Jiyong was blushing a furious red, but that was quickly forgotten when he felt Seunghyun wrap his strong arms around his waist.

The evening went by far too soon and as it was getting late and Seunghyun was getting himself ready to leave, Jiyong didn’t have the heart to let the other man go just like that again. He curled his arms around him and pressed him close.

“Why don’t you stay the night? I could drop both you and Jihoon off in the morning before work – how does that sound?”

“Are you sure? I mean, I am already happy that I had dinner with your family, I really don’t mean to-“

Before Seunghyun could say anything more, Jiyong pushed himself up, tip-toeing to shut up again with a kiss full of every emotion Jiyong was feeling right at that moment.

 

“Okay, I will stay the night.”

 

 

The weeks went by again and everything seems to fall into place – during the week, Seunghyun slept over more often than not, he even ended up reading bed time stories to Jihoon and tugged him in when Dami and Jiyong are either too busy with cleaning up the kitchen or whatever or if both are too tired, or because Jihoon insists that Seunghyun should read to him, because _his impressions are much better than yours Dad_ and in the end, explaining everything to Jihoon – how Seunghyun would be around more often from now on and sleep in Jiyong’s bed, had been the easiest thing. Jihoon had jumped up into Seunghyun’s arm and hugged him tightly.

It made both of their eyes water as Jihoon pulled his father closer and the three of them hugged each other, holding Jihoon in between them.

Friday nights still are their date nights which mostly end with them staying at Seunghyun’s place until Sunday morning and they both drag themselves to the family breakfast, which most of the time Seunghyun ends up preparing nowadays.

 

 

It was another of those comfortable family Sundays – with the perk of Monday being a holiday so none of them will have to go to work – or to school the next day. Dami had decided to go out with a couple of her girlfriends, celebrating god knows what, and Jihoon has already been tugged into bed hours before.  Seunghyun and Jiyong were curled up on the couch in the living room, watching and old black and white movie while sipping at their wine – it was comfortable like that. Cuddling in front of the TV, wrapped in a blanket with no worry in the world.

Moments like these were the ones Jiyong treasured the most and whenever he had a quiet moment for Seunghyun and him only, he felt that deep pull towards him, that feeling of completely at ease and to love everything about your life because you were with the person you – loved.

Love.

It was love.

And Jiyong was finally not afraid anymore to say it, but he had not really known how or when the right moment would be – but as he watched Seunghyun chuckle at Tony Curtis in drag on screen, he realized that there would never be the perfect moment – he would have to create that moment himself and that was what he was about to do.

He combed his fingers carefully through Seunghyun’s hair, slowly getting his attention by nudging his nose against his cheek and pulling him against him with small kisses.

“Seunghyun?”

“Hm?”, he looked at Jiyong – his eyes dazed and soft.

“I love you.”

His eyes suddenly widened, and he gaped at Jiyong for a second, before his eyes started to water and he kissed Jiyong so hard he got pressed into the back of the couch. When he pulled away he had to broadest smile on his face.

“Jiyong?”

“Yeah?”, his heart was beating a mile per hour.

“I love you, too.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jiyong wakes up way too early the next day; the sun isn’t even rising yet and only the first birds are awake, singing their songs, barely audible. He still feels warm – not only because he can feel Seunghyun’s broad chest pressed against his naked back, warm and soft, but also because of the events of last night. His cheeks filled with warmth and he felt the all too familiar tingly feeling in his stomach as he closed his eyes, remembering Seunghyun’s face as he confessed – the joy as he finally realized what he just had heard, the broad smile – like a kid seeing a Christmas tree for the very first time and the way his dimples were visible. It all came back to him and made him smile.

Arms tightened around his middle, pulling him back to reality. It was quiet outside, and as Jiyong looked at the clock next to their bed he realized just how early it still was. They wouldn’t have to go to work today anyways, which meant Jiyong could stay in bed a lot longer and just enjoy the warmth, the love he felt and the butterflies going crazy in his stomach.

Seunghyun tightened his arms a bit more around his waist and Jiyong realized that _sleeping_ was definitely something that wouldn’t happen anytime soon. A smug smile spread across his lips as he felt Seunghyun’s morning wood against the cheeks of his ass and he all so subtly stared to move his hips to and forth in slow grinding motions – he carefully spread his legs, their naked skin pressing against one another and Jiyong couldn’t hold back a breathy moan as he felt Seunghyun’s dick twitching against his tender skin. They had already made love two times that night – the first time they had been too eager to even get into bed. After their confession they just couldn’t hold back and Seunghyun had simply flipped Jiyong over and had his way with him then and there on the couch. It was a miracle that neither Dami nor Jihoon had woken up – Jiyong wasn’t used to having to stay quiet until now and Seunghyun had been the one who had to remind him. Pushing two fingers into his mouth worked wonders and always made Jiyong just that much more docile than he already was. The second time was when they finally had enough strength and fell into bed – this time they managed to take it a bit slower than the first time, but only because Jiyong really was trying to take it slower and also tried his best to keep quiet – which was so fucking hard, especially since Seungyhun just knew how to make him scream and how to grind his hips down to make Jiyong’s toes curl.  

His ass was still a bit sore and he felt the kinks in his lower back as he shifted against Seunghyun, but he really couldn’t care less about it, not when he felt the hard, hotness of Seunghyun’s cock moving between his legs – the velvety skin caressing his own and made him shudder whenever it would press against his perineum or his balls. The friction was just enough to turn him on even more and it drove him mad, the continuously slow torture of Seungyhun moving his hips against his own. His arms had by now tightened around his hips, pressing his chest flat against Jiyong’s back and his hot breath tickling the side of his neck. Jiyong’s soft moans grew harsher, panting out between small gasps as Seungyhun blindly reached for the lube that was still somewhere on the bed. After a short moment of fumbling, he finally found it and made quick work of putting some of it onto his hand, warming it up, before he pulled back a bit again and spread it evenly onto his dick. Seunghyun hot skin was immediately back against Jiyong’s own – the thin sheen of sweat that was already covering their heated skin made them move against one another easier.

“Slip it in.”, Jiyong nearly didn’t recognize his own voice – it was low and broke off into a moan at the end of the sentence as Seunghyun pushed himself into the tightness, a low moan rumbling from his chest as he fucked Jiyong slowly. Jiyong already felt his eyes roll back in his head and his toes curl – this was different from all the other times they had had sex, they never had taken things as slow as they had now. It was different and even though Jiyong really loved it to get fucked hard, he felt something new when Seungyhun rolled them over and pressed Jiyong down into the mattress with his full weight. They stopped for a moment, foreheads pressing against one another and kissing deeply – Jiyong had thrown his arms around Seunghyun’s neck to push him even closer against him, and Seunghyun had hitched up the other man’s legs over the swell of his ass to feel him even deeper.

Seunghyun slowly started to roll his hips again – their lips still connected only to break apart for air for a moment. Jiyong’s head was spinning and he felt collecting between them and it should be gross, but it really wasn’t. It was hot and steamy and everything Jiyong had ever dreamed about when he thought about making love with someone. Seunghyun’s weight on top of him pressed down so deliciously – his dick was trapped between his stomach and Seunghyun’s, the head getting dragged between the muscles at every roll of the older man’s hips.

Jiyong couldn’t keep still – his hands grabbing at every millimetre of skin he could reach – back, neck, shoulders, ass, thighs – it didn’t matter, all that mattered was Seunghyun’s hot body on top of his, his hot breath and pants against the side of his neck and the sharp bite of his teeth against his collarbone and nipples. The way he grinded his hips, making the head of his pulsating cock glide over his prostate again and again – he had to bite down on Seunghyun’s shoulder to muffle his moans.

The pleasure started low at the pit of his stomach – it was like getting drunk, the first few drinks creating an even buzz, the excitement, the happiness washing through your body making you happy. The more it went on, the more intense this buzz grew – the more his head started to skin, and his thighs started to shake. Precum was already leaking from his cock, but he didn’t dare to put his hand on himself – he couldn’t anyways, too busy holding onto Seunghyun for dear life. Jiyong started to toss his head left and right, not knowing what to do with his limbs as the pleasure spread through him – it was maddening. It was like was dancing between the line of not being able to reach their high and it crashing through them.

Jiyong felt Seunghyun’s lips on his throat again, wandering up to his lips until they kissed again – tongues caressing one another. It was hard to breath that way, but Jiyong loved it – loved the closeness he felt, the heat between them. He felt every single muscle of Seunghyun shifting against him, the way he flexed his muscles to cause both of them pleasure, the way his breath hitched as Jiyong’s muscles tightened around him even more. He felt the all too familiar pull of his oncoming orgasm – he quickly let go of Seunghyun’s back and took one hand of the other man in his own. Their lips parted as Seunghyun continued to thrust into him, their breath mingling and their eyes vulnerable.

“Together.”, Jiyong didn’t know who whispered it, but it made him come alive – he nodded, looking directly into Seunghyun’s eyes as they finally stumbled over the edge, clinging onto one another as their orgasm washed over them.

Seunghyun couldn’t hold himself up anymore and fell onto Jiyong, but he didn’t mind at all. His arms immediately wrapped around him, pressing their overheated bodies against one another. It felt like his whole body was on fire, high on love and he felt like he was flying. Seunghyun wasn’t much better – he was holding onto Jiyong tightly, burying his head in the crook of his neck and inhaling his scent.

Jiyong felt the huge smile of Seunghyun’s lips against his skin and he pulled him into another kiss.

He didn’t know how much time passed until his nerve endings finally stopped buzzing, but he embraced every second of it. When they finally pulled away from one another, it wasn’t long until they were kissing again – slow and passionate and filled with all the love they shared for one another.

“Good morning.”

Seunghyun’s deep voice send another shiver through Jiyong’s body – god if they continued like this, they wouldn’t make it out of bed that day at all.

“Good morni-“, Jiyong was about to lean into another kiss, besotted smile on his lips as suddenly their bedroom door got yanked open and Jihoon came crashing into the room.

“Daddy! Seunghyun! Good morni-“

“Jihoon! Don’t go in there, they are still sleeping!”

He didn’t know how Seunghyun reacted as fast he did, but he immediately wrapped them up in their blanket – covering their still very much naked skin from little Jihoon, who had just barrelled into the room, and an overly worried Dami, who was chasing after him.

“But I hear noises and-“

“-and, we will now go and pick up grandma, how does that sound?”

Dami quickly ushered Jihoon out of the room, only to turn around once she was sure that the little one was out of sight and glared daggers at Jiyong.

“Okay, I get it. You two are happy and still in your honeymoon phase – but for the love of god, can you just keep it in your pants when you guys are here?” – Jiyong only now noticed the huge bags under Dami’s eyes – “you nearly caused a lifelong trauma to your own son, I am not going to be the one explaining the bids and the bees or in your case birds and birds to a five-year-old!”

Jiyong felt heat rising to his face as he tried to hide behind Seunghyun, but the older one was trying to hide as well – as much as he loved Dami, right now she had that crazy look in her eyes that made Jiyong’s skin crawl.

With a loud bang, she slammed the door shut behind herself and marched off with little Jihoon.

Jiyong and Seunghyun could only gap at one another, before they heard the front door slam shut. He didn’t know what he should say now, but one look at Seunghyun was enough and the couple broke into a fit of giggles.

“Oh god, your face – you looked like you were about to shit your pants.”

“Can you blame me? My sister almost caught me having sex, and now she is definitely going to glare daggers at me for the rest of the week – did you see the bags under her eyes? This is all your fault!”, said Jiyong as he playfully nudged Seunghyun.

“My fault? I am not the one who moans so loudly they probably woke up the neighbours-“

“I didn’t hear you complaining last night when I-“

“Sssshhh! Don’t say anything you will only turn me on again!”

"You get horny just looking at me."

“-and that is a bad thing?”

Seunghyun got a pillow to the face for that.

They continued to play around like children, teasing each other and throwing pillows at one another for the next ten minutes or so – until their legs were finally strong enough to carry them to the bathroom. They took a quick shower and got dressed – not even five minutes later Dami came back with little Jihoon and Grandma Kwon. Seunghyun got roped into making breakfast for all of them once again and while Seunghyun got scolded by his mother for messing up the pancakes and her showing him how they were _actually_ done and Jihoon making a mess on the table and Dami desperately trying to clean up said mess, Jiyong could only lean back watch them all with a huge smile on his face. This was how life was going to be from now on. Seungyhun trying his best as he always did, Jihoon being a little tornado filled with giggles and Dami trying her best to fulfil her duty as protective aunt – and Jiyong couldn’t wish for anything better than this.

 

 


End file.
